THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were.
When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles
to school every morning. Uphill… barefoot…
BOTH ways…Yadda, yadda, yadda!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of
junk like that on kids about how hard I had it,
and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that I’m the ripe old age of thirty,
I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood,
you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but
you kids today don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library
and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter, with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3′ s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music,
you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio
and the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!
We didn’t have fancy stuff like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else called,
they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie,
a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games
with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600!
With games Like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘asteroids’.
Your guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your I-mag-ination!!
And there were no multiple levels or screens,
it was just one screen - Forever!
And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a Little book called a
TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your rear and walk over to the TV
to change the channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.
Do you Hear what I’m saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons,
you spoiled little brats!
And we didn’t have microwaves.
If we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove.
Imagine that!
That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted
five minutes back in 1980!
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