Will it matter in ten years??

Will it matter in ten years??

So the other day, one of my sweet and mostly innocent children did something exceedingly brainless. Shocking, I know. My reaction was to fret about how Rob would react, mostly because the offense would affect him more than me. I was with a dear friend at the time and she said, so simply, “Will it matter in ten years?” Her comment threw me off kilter, I believe I had to ask her to repeat it. “Will it matter in ten years?”

Well, no, truth be told. It won’t. And honestly, it probably won’t matter in ten days. In six small words she altered my parenting worldview. I spent the rest of the evening turning this thought over in my head. How much time and anxiety and effort have I spent through my lifetime on things that wouldn’t matter in the long haul? Especially when it comes to my children.

Instantly I thought of how this ten year thinking would altar my daily priorities. Dishes and laundry suddenly didn’t seem as important as conversations and laughter, family Bible study and prayer. I was reminded again how my time with my own children (already six and ten) is slipping through my fingers like sand. How much time have I spent on the ten minute plan in lieu of the ten year plan?

Then I began to realize how looking at the big picture would affect parenting a teenager. Little things could slide, if we learned to identify and prioritize the ten year plan. Taking out the trash, cleaning their room? Not so big of a deal as being honest and making God-honoring choices.

You know what I’m talking about. Sometimes we just pick on the little things in our children, especially our teenagers. Take a moment to think about it, are there some things you can let go? Maybe take that time to affirm them instead of reprimand, or better yet – catch them doing something that does matter in the ten year plan.

I find myself often quoting the first part of Ephesians 6 to my children; “Honor your father and mother…so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” As parents we tend to overlook the rest of the context of this scripture. There are directions for mom and dad too, “… do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

So I encourage you to keep the long term goal in mind when it comes to your teenager. Take some time to identify your ten year plan, write it out and post it somewhere you can regularily check in on your progress. Hold yourself accountable to it, and let your teenager in on the plan. The wonder is, as they see you consider the ten year plan, they will learn to consider it for themselves. It may help with longterm decisions like tatoos and girlfriends and indebtedness.

Praying for you friends, as we consider the ten year plan.