Fun In the Sun

Oh, we had a blast today. One of the families from our church (youth leaders and two of our students, actually) invited us to join them at Canyon Lake for the day. The day consisted of BBQ, sun, sand, swimming, jet-skiing and tubing. We tried it all and loved every bit of it. The lake was beautiful. The weather was hot but perfect for playing in the water. We are exhausted and this is just the beginning of our long Memorial Day weekend. :)

PS - there is a photo of me and Sare on the jet-ski, but it's on Sylvia's camera. I can't wait to see it. We went out and got ourselves good and lost on this giant lake and it was a ton of fun. :) Had to stop and ask directions back to the site, it was definitely a memorable adventure.

Great Day..

It's all starting to come together here in San An. And I love it. I cannot even begin to tell you how much we are all enjoying being a family again. Rob and I have just been soaking up our time together. Today was our last Friday of the school year (Fridays are the new Thursday) and after I did a grocery run, we went to Six Flags for about 3 hours. We rode the big rollercoasters, shot a few promo videos for Shift, and just generally enjoyed each other's company. Afterwards we had lunch at McAllister's. It was a beautiful day. Ran home for quick showers and then picked up the kids and took them to explore the library. We all perused and read books for a little over an hour and then came home for a lazy evening at the casa. Well, Rob ran to check out and purchase a fun new-to-us office desk that I found on Craigslist, but other than that we are all sacking out on the couch, the computer and the stairs. (for whatever reason, Sarah loves to sit on the lower landing of the stairs and hang out there)

Just extremely thankful to be here. Looking forward to a long weekend of ministry and relationship building. Tomorrow we are going jet-skiing with some families from church. Sunday is of course, Sunday, and then our senior pastor and his wife are joining us for homemade fettuccini alfredo. Monday we are headed to New Braunsfels to hang out with the Hayes family. Sounds like a beautiful way to spend Memorial Day weekend, doesn't it? [blessed]

Two Happys from Yesterday

so, today I've spent the bulk of the day on the phone trying to get our details in place, and it seems like each phone call produces 2 more... So I'm taking a moment to focus on the good stuff. I took these two photos yesterday.

This first one, I noticed Eli's Bionicles in our shower yesterday morning. I love that he still plays, and I'm not generally a fan of toys in our grown up zone, but this just made me smile, his plastic warriers tucked in between my shampoo bottles and scubbies. Love that boy.

And this is some of the new stuff I got with my birthday gift card from Rob at New York and Co. Love the bangly earrings and necklace, topped it off with my jean capris from Target and a favorite pair of grey Converse knock offs. :) Ok, that was fun. Back to dealing with people who don't know how to do their jobs.

Still Here

(pages from the bottom of my post, having an issue with blogger, so they are out of order)

Hate that I haven't been blogging lately. I guess in the past 10 days there has been so much more to do than normal. Just getting the house set up has been a major adjustment, downsizing from three bedrooms to two has been, well, interesting, to say the least. I really do like our new place, but I'm thankful that it's temporary. We've still got a good bit of square footage (just under our house in Baytown) but it seems to be ate up in hallway, stairs, closets, and bathrooms. I just laugh that it's a 2 bedroom, 3 bathroom place with a tiny living/dining area. We do feel a bit in each other's space because of that, I think, but it's temporary and we've made it very homey.

(yep, that's really the corner of the table in the edge of the photo, and I'm standing in the 'office' area to take the pic)

Eli's doing great with school and the adjustment over all. He makes friends extremely easily (what a gift for a pastor's kid) and loves his class and teacher and school already. Sarah has really struggled with an attitude, and is having a difficult time finding her place (at the center of attention) in a class of 22 rather than her gifted class of 8 before. She's been acting out a lot, escalating even from what she was doing during our separation from Daddy, which seemed pretty dramatic to me.

This morning she pitched a hugenormous fit over wanting to change her clothes at 7:27 (school starts at 8). I wouldn't allow it, we pick out clothes the night before to prevent that very sort of behavior. Screaming and hollering persisted. (on her part, not mine) Well, I'm not cool with this behavior at all, and now we share walls with neighbors, who I'm sure do not apreciate a toddler-sized screaming fit at that hour. So this afternoon she wrote "I will not yell." ten times. and if she does it again, she'll be writing it 10 times and a note to each neighbor to apologize. She also has lost choosing privileges on clothes and hair until her behavior rights itself. The power of individual choice seems to be Sarah's greatest currency.

Anyway, here's her writing her sentences. She did not appreciate me taking her photo, but I haven't camera-ed in forever and it's killing me!!

I also nabbed a couple of each kiddo in my new ATP prop chair. Now if I could just get some San Antonio clients to set in it. :) I say that, but I haven't produced any effort thus far. I feel like I'm just getting adjusted, and the older I get (gulp, 31 hit me last week like a ton of bricks and out of no where) the slower my adjustment period is to these dramatic life changes.

I am, though, extremely grateful to be here. I feel like Rob and I are reconnecting, our family is righting itself back on it's axis of God and church and ministry and togetherness. I'm learning the area and beginning to explore things on my own. I'm still praying about direction as far as employment and/or photography and really wondering what the summer is going to look like. Definitely going to miss LGA this year. :(

Ok, that's enough for now. Pray for Sarah please. And thanks for hanging on through this transition, I know it was a toughie. Just be glad you only had to read about it. :) The past 9 months has been one of the more difficult season of my life, and I'm thankful it's wrapping up. (we close on the 3rd, so then it is over and San Antonio is the place)

On a lighter note, I squeezed in about an hour of scrapping with Lori this afternoon. She's almost 9 months pregnant, so I ignored the screaming needs of our home-settling projects and played for a bit, it felt good and I find myself scheming as to when I can get back to it. Got three pages done..

The Eagle Has Landed

Well, my friends, that was a whirlwind, wasn't it??

Long story short, on May 12, Rob found a place that would work for us. I packed the house and we moved on Friday the 15th. Our lease couldn't be signed until the 17th, so we spent my 31st birthday moving into our rental townhome. It's really cute, we're slowly but surely getting it fixed up sweetly.

And we are all thrilled to be reunited as a family. :)

Waiting for New Beginnings...

18 days.

I notice my magnolia beginning to bud (and silently shed a tear that it is staying here to grow without my careful gaurdianship) and wonder if the blooms will burst forth before we pack up and move on the 28th.

Not that I'm reluctant to move. I feel like I have a lot in common with this bud right now, stuck in the quiet growth process, waiting for the right time and circumstances to bust forth into full beauty and purpose. This bud is a sign of hope, that my time is coming, too. And I just have to be patient and diligent, allowing God to work in and through me during this time.

My new pastor's wife, Janet, is pretty much awesome. She's been praying for me a lot lately. Last weekend, during our teensy little time time together, she mentioned her waiting season in Illinois, 10 years ago. They were walking through a house selling too, and the moment they had a contract, she got in the car and drove all the way to Texas. (ironically, they served in Jerseyville, just minutes from Hartford, small world, isn't it?) Anyway, she told me that looking back she wished she would have waited, enjoyed the time on her own, responsibility free. Now, with the kiddos, my situation is a little different, but her story did speak to me. I need to take advantage of this time, enjoy it. I still have a lot of responsibility (especially this past week with Eli and his strep, and then that last week, to get us all moved), but I do have some free time and I'm going to try to make the most of it. I squeezed in a little scrapbooking this weekend. It looks like a lot, but I mostly planned pages. None of these were incredibly complicated or difficult, but they were all fun. And I plan on scrapping quite a bit more in these next 2 weeks or so. Especially next Monday. ;) I'm thinking that day I'll head to my favorite scrapbook store, and really make the most of hubby being out of town.

Now for a few scrapbook layouts...

This page features a mug my mom gave me probably 8 years ago or so. I always laugh because it's the liberated woman, and here I am, a homemaker. :) But a strong homemaker, at that. And willing to step in and do whatever the Lord requires of me. I took this picture clear back in December, and just now had the perfect layout for it.

A starting over page about our transition to San An. This map is from our hotel when we went to interview, and the note is from Janet, saying how excited she and Pastor Doug are to get to know us. It was buried in a HUGE gift basket that our kids devoured.

You all probably remember this sign that Eli has had posted the last year or so on his bedroom door. Totally symbolic of my son at this age. Just love it and had to keep it so I can show it to his wife some day. ;)

And of course, had to do a page about how thankful I am that our house is sold. I'm not kidding, every time I drive down our street (and see the other 3 houses on the block that are still for sale) I whisper a little prayer of awe and wonder that God sold ours and we are almost on our way. God is so good.

I love pages featuring my kids artwork. Eli is constantly bringing home little scraps of paper with intricately drawn characters and dramatic story lines. I love this, it's a commonality for us, I did the same thing all through elementary and jr. high. It's such a cool way to relate to him, and I love how we've documented so much of it for him.

I took this photo a few months back, but it still gets me every time I see it. Such trust in her eyes, admiration, comfort. I totally get that. Rob makes me feel the same way. I pray that someday both of my children will find a Christian mate that makes them feel that treasured and special each day. It is such a blessing.

Just a fun numbers page for our anniversary. I didn't really have any photos from this year, since it got so abrubtly interrupted, so I had to improvise. I took this photo back in November, I believe, while I was taking that photography class. pretty fun.

My absolute favorite page of the weekend. Rob took a photo on his cell phone when we went for an hour long scooter ride on Friday. He posted it on FB and I traced it. Love the effect. It turns out, this is the one photo from our 12 year anniversary, that just doesn't seem right! But, as bummed as I was to make that 4 hour trek home two days early, I still felt blessed for the time we had. I wanted to document it. Having uninterrupted, face to face conversation, that was all I really wanted for our special day.

Well, that's it for now, but I've got a huge stack of planned pages I'm wanting to work on, so expect more soon. :) Oh, and E's doing so much better. His fever is down to 100.5 without tylenol, so he's almost there. Poor kid, such a rough weekend for him. He told me today, that my mother's day present was that he would do 3 chores of mine, that I regularily do, when he feels better. Isn't that the sweetest thing? I love that kid.

Layouts from the past 6 weeks...

(Lori's going to be happy)

Rob's Anniversary Gift

wanted to give him this in person, but it was late and well, you know the rest. So I'm sharing a picture or two here so he can see it. Plus, I'm super excited because it's BEAUTIFUL!! I ordered it from my friend, Monique Marnell. Her stuff is exquisite! Plus, if you throw a party you'll get jewelry for free, it doesn't get any better than that!!

Motherhood Trumps It All...

Twelve years ago tomorrow I married the man of my dreams. :-) And amazingly enough, he still is! and we were 18 hours into our anniversary weekend when I got a phone call asking me to come home to Eli running a temp. Now that he's resting quietly on the couch and all is right with the world again. Except that I still miss Rob. An ache that has become so familiar these past six weeks, but still gnaws.

I have such a great respect for our men and women serving in the military, leaving their spouses on the homefront for a year at a time. Wow. What a stretch. Plus the dangerous nature of their employment. I mean, let's face it, being a youth pastor isn't exactly living on the edge. (most of the time) And I've been so blessed to spend every weekend, or at least a chunk of each weekend, reunited with Rob.

So I just want to take the opportunity to express how thankful I am for Rob. Thankful that we have a really great marriage. Thankful that we are still each other's best friend. Thankful that there is an ache in my heart when he is far away. And so grateful for our 18 hours of undivided attention to one another yesterday. It soothed my soul.

I am also thankful that when the tide of loneliness threatens to overtake me, pull me under with it's self-consuming current, that God steps in each time and pulls me up again, and reminds me that He is supposed to be my first love. I'm learning, ever so slowly, I am learning.

I pray that when this experience is over and I'm standing firmly planted with on the other side (holding my husband's hand tightly) that I'll have passed this test rather than failed it. So many times I feel like I'm not living up to God's standard for me in this, or not learning what I need to learn. But I do have the occasional "I can do this!" mentality and am trying to stand on those times rather than the others.

There are so much worse things we could be walking through. I was counting blessings as I raced back to Baytown. We are so blessed that the house sold. Thank You, Jesus. We are blessed that Rob has a job that he loves. Blessed because we are a loving family that actually enjoys each others company. Blessed that we have a good support network in two different cities. Blessed to have Facebook and cell phones, we are still involved in each other's lives! Blessed to have a cat that has been my constant c0mpanion. She may be the only one who misses Rob more than me. :) Blessed to have my Bible, the freedom and time to study it. Blessed to have an iPod filled with good solid worship music. Blessed to have a bestie who helps me to be strong when I'm falling apart. Blessed to have two beautiful children who are a joy to me every day. blessed, blessed, blessed.

And there's the irony. The whole time we planned this weekend, I felt guilty about being away from the kids on Mother's Day. As I type this, Sarah's tromping around the house in my fancy flip-flops, looking cuter than cute. I almost felt relieved to be reunited with them for tomorrow. I love being a mom, even though I rarely feel like I'm good at it. Insecure, I suppose. But I see other moms whose world revolves around their kids; chaperoning every field trip and hosting every school holiday party, freaking out about every sniffle or scrape, wrapping their entire lives around their kids. I'm just not that mom. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but I fully realize (every day in fact) that they will one day soon grow up and leave my nest. My influence in their lives fades a bit each day as they grow older, and eventually they will be off doing their own thing. I'll still love them, support them, pray for them. But my very existence won't be hinged on their every movement.

I've been praying during this transition that God would give me an incredible love for my children. That He would grow me in this area, that I would see them as He sees them, and treasure all the little things, all the special moments. That I would appreciate the crinkles around Eli's eyes when he laughs and the glint of the sun in Sarah's hair when she's dancing in the yard. That I would love the grasp of their grubby hands when we go for a walk or even the wet tears on my shoulder when they cry over some small hurt. I want to be a better mom, and I know that only God can cultivate that in my heart.

Well, that's a lot of deep stuff for a Saturday morning. I'm going to log off now, and go see if Sarah would like to scrapbook with me. Who knows, maybe this Mother's Day weekend is part of an answer to my prayer?

Safe In Daddy's Arms

So, through an interesting series of events... (that can only be qualified as God) We have a full price contract on our house. (with us paying closing, but we are cool with that). Set to close June 3rd. Thank You, Jesus.

This has been such a unique season of our lives. I took this photo Friday night, and it kind of summarizes my end of this San Antonio move. It's taken a lot of prayer, and searching, and trusting on my part, but the end result is that we were always safe in Daddy's arms.

One thing about my relationship with the Lord in the past year is realizing that I've always struggled trusting Him as a daddy figure. It's not a big secret that I don't have the best relationship with my dad, I wish it was different. But I definitely left home with some serious trust issues, and 'Daddy' has never been a term for God that I have been able to use. Even now, it's still kind of an awkward thing for me, because the term 'Daddy' doesn't mean to me what it does for most, I suppose. Totally different for Sarah. She sees 'Daddy' as her playmate, her friend, her provider, her defender, her strength, her supporter, her cheerleader, and her biggest fan. Puts some perspective to my relationship with the Lord, that He is all of those things in a way that my earthly father wasn't really capable of.

Through this whole transition, (not that it's over, but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel) God has had us safe in His arms. We've never strayed from His plan, and we are right on track with His timeline. Notice the 'His' because often times it varies from ours. I was never thrilled about being away from Rob, but God definitely used it in a dramatic way to pull me closer to Him. And that I will never forget. I am thankful for this season. I am thankful to be in a love relationship with a God who pulls me close, and gives me opportunity to depend on Him. I feel like I personally have a better understanding of...

1 James 1:2-3, ²Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

I'm delighted that He loves me enough to test me, to develop perseverance and character in me. I'm so thrilled with the plans that He has for me. And relieved to know that it will never be more than I can bear.

So, I'm glad the end is in sight. Don't ask me when, cause that's still unknown. But I'm not going to borrow burdens that I wasn't intended to bear by worrying about it, God will show us the next step one decision at a time. (another great lesson in this time period)

One last little nugget God has really pressed on my heart lately... We need to come to Him in prayer over every detail of our lives, every decision, every situation, every opportunity. He has a perfect plan, if we just consult Him. Without going into every detail, in this house contract process, Rob and I had a major decision to make, the answer was very unclear and literally could have been a right choice either way. We were both unsure. We paused, we prayed together about it, sought council from our mentors, and then went forward. In the time it took us to make the decision, God moved and totally turned the situation from a negative to a positive, and in doing so, removed the burden of the decision from us. If we hadn't stopped to seek Him, we would have moved ahead in our own strength, and missed the blessing of Him providing. Being people with free will, we have such a 'Sarah' tendency (Sarah from Genesis, not my Sarah) to decide that God isn't moving fast enough and surely He wants us to intervene on His behalf. And in the process, we muck up the works.. I'm a get-er-done-er for sure, and this is a big temptation for me, so much so that most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it. But this experience these past nine months has really shown me the importance of pausing and praying about the details. Slow down long enough to give God a chance to intervene supernaturally on your behalf. And watch the blessing happen...

And, because I can't post a photo of one child without the other; here's my sweet boy just before he tuckered out Friday night. They both were so blessed to see Daddy. Weren't we all? Can't wait to live in the same city again and be done with that drive...

Time for a funeral sandwhich, pastor's kids comfort food, I guess. :)

PS - I'm listening to Franklin Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and I massively recommend it. Might have to be a whole blog post in itself. So very good.