My Life as a Juggler.

Wow. I feel like when I finally get a chance to post on here it's only ever to pause and say how insane my life is. I wish I could say things are different.. Well, they are different, but not any saner. LOL.

I'm baking cupcakes right now. Out of a prefuse need to do something domestic with my daughter, I guess. We made the batter and carefully poured it into the tins together. Eli is cleaning toilets (we've added a commission/chore schedule to our home life). Sare's in the bath. I've got laundry sorted and whirring upstairs. For the moment it doesn't feel like anything is falling apart, but I've come to realize that it is a very delicate eco-system and one small thing could offset the balance and send the world spinning again. :) It's all good though, right?

After 9 weeks back in the work force I am only beginning to realize the implications of my working outside of the home. My piddly 16 hours a week (plus lunches and commute is more like 20) is enough to make a splash in the family finances, but also enough to drain my energies to fix dinner, do laundry and coupon cut. I struggle with a constant division between the mom I used to be (frugal, creative, driven) and the working mom (passionate about my job and the opportunities and relationships at work). I think part of the adjustment is just the nature of ministry, it's a beast that will consume any talent, time or wherewithall you may throw in it's general direction. I say that in love, as a person who is passionate about ministry, simply because ministry is a means of serving my Savior.

Insert one Bible class a month into that equation, and the seemingly desperate hope of renewing my photography business, and my, it's a mess I lead. :) But I love it. And when I'm tired and frustrated and wishing someone else would run to HEB and feed these people that is what I remind myself.

I had a little moment a few days ago, on the 12th in fact. When I realized that October 2nd is my next class final and I had finished exactly ONE chapter in my textbook. And getting that far in itself had been the result of serious effort! I had a really good conversation with my mom (who told me she was exactly my age when she went to seminary, how cool is that?) and she really encouraged me that the Holy Spirit would give me all I needed. And that He has. Last week was insane at work, every day I squeezed as much as possible into every hour of the day. This week was so slow, the phone barely rang and I was caught up on all of my work. And because I work for some of the most awesome people on the planet, I've been given permission to work on my class when it's slow. So after my prayer with mom on Monday, I am half way through chapter 13 in my textbook, one and a half chapters to go. Praise God! I'm hoping to finish it up today or tomorrow, and then, oh my goodness, take a week's mental break between classes! That's huge, because last time my classes overlapped by a week and that was super over-whelming! Too much material to keep active in my brain, for sure!

One of my major bummers this week was that my new-to-me convertible started experience insane electrical issues. Pretty much a bunch of yesterday was consumed with trying to find someone who could diagnose it. I still don't have an exact diagnosis, but they are thinking it's one of the major computers in the car. To the tune of $500-800. waah. You know me and my frugality, that just bums me out beyond belief.

Oh well, such is life. And overall, things are good. Going to try to get a good night's rest again tonight, it really helps keep stuff in perspective. See you soonie!