Anna-thology

TWENTY-SEVEN and my big realization.

Unfortunately, you get older. The older you get the more you realize that your birthday is just a day and it's not a big deal. Just because your mom told you it was a big deal for the first twenty some years of your life doesn't give you an excuse to continue on with that nonsense well into your thirties and forties and whatnot. I think this year (with startling clarity) I realized that it's just another day and everyone knows it but me. :) I need to stop expecting to be "princess for the day" and know that there is only room for one princess in my house. I need to be thankful that my husband loves me everyday, the best he knows how and that should be more than enough for me. I just really need to grow up.

Yesterday was kind of a rotten day. The kids were onery after three days in a hotel, the conference was long, I was tired and cranky. I missed my house, my bed and mostly my studio. Today has been a wonderful homecoming, returning to sanity and some tiny bit of normalcy. I did three loads of laundry and cleaned the entire bottom floor of the house, it felt good and all was right with the world. Could it be that I am just addicted to housekeeping? likely not. The next few days will be pretty insanely busy, but I'm making an appointment with myself and my studio for Monday afternoon, really looking forward to it. Plus, Monday marks the start of Eli's summer, so that's a challenge rising on the horizon. I want to make sure he's being challenged and happy to be home with us. I realize how limited those days truely are.

Heard the wonderful Dr. George O. Wood this morning, one of my favorite speakers, he's extremely intelligent but very approachable. Three years ago he responded to a letter I had written him, about our miscarriages and last night I had the opportunity to tell him about our dear Sarah. What an honor. I love those God moments when He shows you where you've been and what He's done with your life now. I very clearly (painfully) remember wondering if we'd ever have any more babies after Eli. I am so thankful for the gift of Sarah. I was reading Hebrews 11 the other day and happened upon the verse that talks about Sarah and her faith in God to have another child. My notes were scribbled in the margin, dated early in my pregnancy with Sarah (after two back to back miscarriages and nine months trying to get pregnant again) to have faith in seeing and holding 'Cupcakes' - our nickname for the Speed the Light baby I was carrying. I remember reading that verse and praying about it. I never realized the irony that our youth group voted in 'Sarah' as her name, the exact spelling as the very Sarah whose verses upheld me during that time. Gave me tingles right up and down my spine.

That's the kind of stuff I need to spend my time fretting about. That's where I need to place my time and energy and effort. Less of me. More of God and what He's doing in me. Well into my first full day of being twenty-seven and I can see that this year is going to be different.