Can't believe tonight was our last night at theLOFT. But it was. And hubby is officially unemployed for 3 days. :) Vacation, I guess. The days will go fast though, lots of meals with friends and photo shoots. And then Saturday we are San Antonio bound, heading off into a whole new life.
Going to miss these faces though. Service tonight was super fun. We had a trivia game, worship, the video, and some final thoughts from Rob and I. Then we wrapped it up with a big cookie from Great American. They kind of messed it up, but I don't think anyone noticed other than me. I was trying to be a little laid back about it, but that kind of thing is hard for me.
The theme for the night was 'I Love theLOFT'. I wanted to have bumper stickers made, but they were going to cost $3.5o each and that seemed like an abuse of our budget.
One last photo of us as the youth pastors at Trinity. Sunday, we start all over again.
(the little video I made today to show during service, it was well received)
What a lovely day yesterday. I thought it was going to be so hard, like that last two Sundays have been. But God is so good and it was really wonderful. Lots of hugs, only a few tears and those were mostly in worship. Rob did a wonderful time leading worship. It's been so neat to watch him grown in that role. I will really miss him leading on a weekly basis, but I'll be excited if he actually gets to worship with me on Sunday mornings. (not holding my breath though, his mad guitar skills have already been commented on, so he'll probably wind up on the worship team again sooner than later).
At one point we sang "Holy Ground" and the lyrics 'we are standing on holy ground and I know there are angels all around' and I got choked up, thinking about all the angels at Trinity. I always have a soft spot for our senior saints, and Trinity has some beauties. I will miss them all so very much. But again, I am reminded that moving on is an opportunity to love new people, and though I'll miss our Trinity folks, I'll see them again. Isn't heaven a perfect plan? God's so good.
The church surprised us with a love offering and a dozen roses. I was totally overwhelmed. I've never in my life gotten a dozen roses. In the car on the way home, I was holding them to keep them out of Sarah's reach (she's mesmorized, of course) and I was thinking about how I'd been talking to God about depending on Him wholly these next couple months. The last few days I've been praying that He would be my husband while we are walking through whatever we might walk through until the house sells. I felt that settle in my spirit on Friday and Saturday. Sunday, He brought me flowers. :) Pretty good husband, right? ;)
So I have to share a photo. And of course, Sarah jumped in. You may notice that there are only 11 roses. We stopped to see Aunt Mary on the way home and thought she needed a rose too. She's doing so much better, it just warms my heart to see God do miracles of healing. We about had church too, so many folks from Trinity had the same idea on the way home from services. She just seemed to be taking it all in, loving having all those people in her room. Good stuff.
Then one more photo, from this morning. We were all in our master bath, getting ready for the day. Funny how we have two bathrooms, but we still manage to wind up all in the same one on a daily basis. Anyhoo, Eli noticed that we were stair stepped. Sarah comes to his shoulder, he comes to mine, and I'm just above Daddy's. So we had to pause and take a photo. :)
Ok, back to work. I've got editing (always) and prep for our very special celebration service on Wednesday night. Praying I get a lot done today!
Mar 27, 2010
Blogging is a habit I need to pick back up. I think what's happened is, that as things got crazy with the transition, I've turned more to my prayer journal than anything. (a very good thing) But if you are a Anna-thology follower, you know how important the historical documentation of the Thoreson household is to me. :) So today I'm making an effort again.
Last night we hosted a movie night at Trinity. It wasn't a brilliant turnout, and it was a bit chilly (58 with a stiff breeze), but we all managed to have a good time. "The Prince Of Egypt" was our film of choice and it was well received, as was the movie theater popcorn and hot cocoa (a must in that kind of a climate). Plus I scored a huge deal on the popcorn, so it was ok that we had tons left over. :)
I was super thrilled that Jen and her family joined us. I'm going to miss this face so much, I can't hardly think about it. But God will bring new faces into my life and I'll fall in love again and my heavenly family will just continue to grow! Plus San An is only 4 hours from Baytown, totally do-able.
So I realized yesterday that I haven't hardly picked up my camera except to work lately. I hate that. I never want my love of photography to be reduced to 'photography for hire'. I think I've just been in a funk this past month, and I'm determined to get out of it. Who knows, maybe I'll pick back up on Photo 365. It's looking like I may have some time on my hands in the next few weeks, unless God moves and everything changes (which I am not trying to minimize that possibility whatsoever!). So here's a little start for you...
Sarah, hanging over the back of the couch. This girl is such a nut, let me tell you.
Eli watching tv. He's been really struggling with his allergies lately. Baytown pollen count very high = Eli very sick. We are trying about 5 medicines right now. ugh.
I've been thinking a lot lately... thus the lack of blogging, I suppose. Sometimes I just have to internally process before I project it out there on the web.
The last month has been so difficult. I don't even know how to put it into words. In some ways, I've grieved like someone has passed away. It's been so tremendously hard to say goodbye at Trinity. As bad as it sounds, I wish our last day was already here because each interaction, each conversation, it draws it out longer and I feel so emotionally spent already. I'd love to just run up to the front of the church and wave my arms in the air and say, "Nevermind, we changed our mind!"
But, some bells can't be unrung, right?
And I know, in my heart, that we would not be honoring God with my altar run. And I for one, never want to run to the altar in disobedience. The altar is a place to experience God, to answer a call, receive one, to ask for healing, to receive healing, to stand in for others, to give thanks and praise for all that God has done in your world.. No, certainly not a place to disobey God.
And obedience is why I keep stepping forward out into a strange new world. Every phone call made, every box packed, every hug squeezed out a little longer. Every day, I pray, "God please sell our house" even though it almost pains me to say those words. (I love our house, we've put so much sweat equity into it, but that's another post entirely). My mind is fully engaged in this move, but my heart is a little more obstinent.
Long ago my mother preached a sermon, right before I left for college, I believe. The crux of this sermon was the story of Jesus's first miracle, the Wedding at Cana (irony for the dry A/G girl that I've grown up to be). If you remember, the wedding celebration had ran out of wine. Mary, mother of Jesus, asked her son to help. Jesus told her it wasn't His time. Mary responded by tellling the servants to do whatever He asked. Jesus told the servants to fill the jars with water. They did. The water was changed to wine. Mom's main point of this sermon was that "obediant servants can expect a miracle". The servants acted in obedience, did just as Jesus asked, and the whole wedding celebration experienced their miracle. This sermon has been a foundational cornerstone in my life for well over a decade now, but just yesterday God brought it over my mind again, reminding me to be obedient. We'll receive our miracle. Our house will sell in this super-saturated buyers market. San Antonio will be amazing and we'll be blessed and God will use us there in whole new capacities.. And the wedding celebration (Trinity, and CT Church) will be blessed in the process, because of our obedience.
I don't want to sound un-excited for our future. I am very excited for all that God is going to do in San Antonio. I'm excited for a new home, new friends, a whole new ministry, a new client base. I actually like change for the most part. I'm just very sad to say goodbye to Baytown, and specifically the people that we've come to know and love these past 3 years.
I was very blessed today though. I know God knows how I've been feeling these past few weeks.. But today, I got to participate in a little miracle that blessed two friends and that was encouraging. While I was on the phone helping get those folks connected with their common need, my realtor's office called and they've finally scheduled our realtor group walk-through for tomorrow. We've been waiting for this for three weeks now, we signed papers literally 12 hours too late for the last one. So far, only our realtor has been in our home, so this is huge. I am praying that the presence of God is all over our home tomorrow, that these realtors are just drawn to it, that they feel a love and a warmth in our home beyond understanding and that God would immediately bring to mind clients that would like to purchase it. I'm still believing that God can and will provide an offer on our home by April 1st. Will you pray that way too? I laugh, because the previous owners told us that this house was a 'lucky house' and I would tell the next owners, 'not lucky, blessed', because we have been so blessed the entire time we've lived here.
I was also blessed by an interaction with one of our new congregants on FB. They are just extremely excited for us to get there, and that kind of excitement is contagious. And encouraging! I love a new adventure, and San Antonio certainly will be all new and adventurous!
Ok, well that's about all I've got to say about that. Back to editing now. God has brought me all kinds of sessions this week, and I'm grateful for the busy work. He is so good!
(the sermon I shared last Wednesday night, definitely a 'preaching to the choir' message)
Fear is a word that puts a shiver in your back, isn’t it? (scaredy cat)
You guys deal with fear on a daily basis, don’t you? Name some of your fears…
Me, I’m afraid of spiders. Always have been. Got bit by a big hairy wolf spider when I was about Sarah’s age, and never really got over it. Really, bugs in general pretty much freak me out. Ask Rob. J I frequently have nightmares about spiders, bugs, being bitten or stung or at least about to. Didn’t help that Arachnophobia came out while I was in jr. high. I watched it, beginning to end, in gross fascination. Had nightmares for weeks! (trailer)
They didn’t even show the worst part, when the spider crawls out of the ladies nose. Ew.
There are little fears; like failing a test, or tripping up in front of cute guy, or forgetting to put on deodorant.
There are medium sized fears; like failing a class, or a grade, fear of getting hurt or sick, fear of losing a relationship, fear of never fitting in.
There are major fears; fears that can shape your world view and alter what you think about yourself… Fears like the fear of failure, fear of terminal illness, fear of death (for yourself or a loved one), fear of change, fear of the unknown..
All of us face fears at some points in our life, maybe even every day. And for some people, facing fear is a constant hang-up in their life. The thing about fear is that it’s a growing monster in the closet. The more you feed it, the greater it grows. And fear, is never from God. The Bible has some awesome things to say about fear, but the issue there is that if you never crack your Bible open, you will never find out God’s truth about fear. I’m praying that God will give each of you a hunger for His word, like you’ve never had before. (share my experiences with God’s word lately)
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“The Lord is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a strong mind.” 1 Timothy 1:7
In fact, the only appropriate fear in your life; is the fear of the Lord. He makes it abundantly clear throughout the Bible.
“I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell.” Luke 12:5
“In the fear of the Lord there is a strong confidence and His children will have a place of refuge.” Proverbs 14:2
“He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Hi, He will also hear their cry and save them.” Psalm 145:19
Not like a scared of God type fear (He could smite you), but a holy reverence because He is awesome. Think about an experience that rendered you speechless, like meeting someone famous or powerful, or witnessing something incredible in nature like a hurricane or a tornado (share my Niagara experience). You are in awe of that situation. God is like that, only a gagillion times more awesome than our imagination can ever begin to fathom. The more you get to know God, the more you will have a holy fear of Him, a reverence, an amazement of who He is and what He is capable of.
Now, when you are thinking about your fear, the small ones to the big ones. In your minds eye, place that fear next to God. Realize that God is so much bigger than your fear could ever grow to be. Take that one step further, and place your fear in God’s hands. Let Him lift it from you.
A very good friend of mine had this quote on her FB wall a few weeks ago. It was very eye opening to me. “People often suffer the most by anticipating suffering that never happens. They, therefore, have more to bear than God give them to bear.” (old Dutch poem)
I’ve been praying about this message for two weeks. I felt like a week ago that God was asking me to speak to you guys about fear. Our God has a sense of humor, doesn’t He? Personally, we are walking through a pretty precarious time in our lives. But I know that you guys are too. Anyway, I’ve really been growing in my faith and trust for God lately (attribute that to regular scheduled quiet times and a deep desire and request to grow in that area of my life). But last night, as I was trying to sleep, all of my fears where creeping in to the edges of my mind. It’s so tempting, especially in the middle of the night, to dwell on them, stir them up in your heart and get all upset about something that you can more than likely do nothing about. Rob reminded me gently, what I was speaking on this evening. (gotta love a husband who tells you what you need to hear) So I lay there, and prayed, and asked the maker of the universe to calm my heart and wash away my fears. And He did. And I got a great night’s rest.
The reality is, that God created you, He knows you, and He cares for you. He wants to see you grow, to nurture you, to show you His love. He is trustworthy, far more than any person you will ever encounter here on this earth.
A verse that I have leaned on heavily the past few months is this…
“Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
We don’t need to walk in fear. We just really need to walk with God. And remember to hand our fears and our failures to Him.
Wow, this is a post that God has been working on for 7 months.
We announced our resignation at Trinity yesterday. In the words of my husbands letter "the decision to come to Trinity was the easiest decision we've ever made in ministry, and the decision to leave Trinity was the hardest decision we've ever made in ministry." We love Trinity. We love the people, we love the church, we love the area. Our family has flourished these past 3 years. We've grown in ministry, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. We learned so much, tried so many things, and really soaked up every moment we've been here.
When Pastor first told us he was contemplating retirement, we were resiliant. We were both set on staying here at Trinity through the transition. (just a little aside, in our church's by-laws, when a new senior pastor is hired, associate clergy staff have to submit a resignation for the new pastor's acceptance or rejection) We are both very loyal people, and still felt very called to Trinity. Months passed, we didn't waver on that decision, even at the encouragement of others. Pastor announced his upcoming retirement in the beginning of February and still we hung on. Finally, at the end of February, God really started speaking to us about our time at Trinity winding down. I would say we both fought it. Neither of us wanted to leave out of fear. We'd like to think we could work with anyone. :) Plus, it just didn't seem like a good time for Trinity to face another loss. But in the past 2 weeks, God has made it really clear that to stay would be disobediance to Him. We are loyal, but we aren't stupid. :) So yesterday, amid tears and prayers and hugs, we told our church family. And they recieved it with such grace and understanding, I was completely humbled by the experience. Even our students. God is so good. He's in control, and I trust Him completely.
Opened my inbox to find an ecstatic email from a thrilled client. I love that. Makes me so content in my job. I love capturing that special something about a person and being able to print it for the world to see. Just a good feeling. :)
I actually stole a bit of time to scrapbook today... All in the name of preparing for Friday night's crop, I had to prepare some page kits to work on. Prepped seven pages, and then the bug was still biting, so I went for it. :)
Rob and I snuggled up to watch this movie together. Normally, I shy away from PG13 movies that contain nudity and sexuality. I had done my research on this one though, and knew that the nudity was due to the main character's time travel, his clothes stayed behind. We also watched with our finger on the FF button, so no innapropriate scenes for us! ;) Anyway, I've wanted to see this movie since I'd first heard of it coming out, such an unusual premise. I hadn't read the book, but heard a lot about it.
First off, I really enjoyed the way the movie was shot, kind of with a warm and dark effect, it felt like it was all a story being retold. Epic wide expanses, interesting sweeps across, revealing details about the characters. Very curious.
But the story, well, it seemed to drag a bit at first, as you were trying to tie all the pieces together in your mind. It was overall, very sad, for lots of reasons. By the end of the movie (a bit of a spoiler alert) I was just weeping. For me it was a lot about her miscarriages, that's a hurt that never quite sweeps under the carpet. And then beyond that, her realization that she never had any choice of this life, being married to a time traveler. Her destiny was set before her long before she had a chance to voice an opinion, or even develop one.
It got me thinking a lot about choices, and love and marriage. Rob and I met so young. God had called me into ministry a year before that. I said 'yes' having no idea what I was really saying yes to. Now, years later, realizing what the width and depth of 'yes' to ministry is meaning, why yes, it's a little overwhelming. But then taking it a step beyond that, and realizing even if you had the choice to make all over again, even when it's sometimes painful, stretching, growing, hurting; you would still say 'yes' because you can't imagine your life any other way. I choose Rob all over again, and would a hundred times over. It's a crazy life we have, not normal, but it's our life and I love it. I love him. And I love the God we serve. And I'm growing and stretching and learning and it's all good. Even the tough stuff, that's good too.
So needless to say, I had a good cry last night. One I've been holding in for many months. All brought on by a little movie you might want to see. :)
so, still slow on the blogging. my heart is full, and not really in a way I can share with the world just yet. but, took this photo of Sare with her George Washington art project and just had to show you all. I love how his eyes are looking to the side, "just like on the dollar bill, Mom". :)
There's been a lot of silence at my house lately. We got back from vacation on Sunday, and I started to lose my voice that evening. By Monday it was totally gone. It really hasn't made a reappearance yet.
Ok, so that probably still leaves you wondering why I haven't been blogging lately. Since you don't need a voice to type. I've been pretty sick this week, so much so that I actually went to the dr yesterday, it had been 2 years since I'd been to a dr. (not my thing) I'm on prednisone (which, according to Rob, is making me hyper) but it is helping a lot with the whole breathing thing, and a pretty steep antibiotic. Just a sinus infection. Man, I get so sick of having them all the time. The trees start to bud (we saw about 10 bees over the weekend) and the pollens flowing and I'm dying. ugh.
The silence has been good for me. Forced me to re-evaluate my parenting techniques. pretty hard to whisper over a yelling child. :) Also given me extra time to think things through in my head before I exert the energy to whisper them or text them. It's afforded lots of time to talk to God, which is never a bad thing. I've beaten a path from His heart to mine this week. And He's been so faithful, revealing some really awesome lessons along the way.
The past six months I feel like I've really been given a spiritual rebirth. It was needed, and it's been difficult (they don't call it labor for nothing) but it's been so rewarding, and the journey is certainly not done. I've really had to depend on God these past six months, and it reminds me of my favorite time in my life, when Rob and I first started dating in 1997. Not because of the dating thing, but because I was searching out God's next step for me. I started at Morningside that year, and knew from the moment I signed the enrollment forms that it was only a transitionary stage, that God was using it as a stepping stone into the rest of my life. Man, did He ever. In a few short weeks He introduced me to authentic, life-transforming Christians, and got me through the doors of Morningside Assembly of God, right into Pastor Craig Cunningham's Destiny Youth Ministry. God challenged me more in those six months than probably all the 17 years previous. I've looked back at that time many times since then and thought about the passion and the hunger I had. I think all the transition in my life (leaving home, starting college, choosing a career path - ha ha -, changing denominations, developing an all new circle of friends who genuinely liked me just for who I was) all of it made for a perfect storm for God to speak to me.
After that, we headed la-dee-dah down the road towards marriage. I clung to God during Rob's and my courting and engagement, especially during the two semesters that Rob was 400 miles away at Bible College. But I never had again had that passion or fervor. Not that I grew stale, I am still, and always have been a devoted Christian, always trying to move closer, but just never at that same level of abandon. I started working, we got married, bills came in, life got tougher. Then our sweet Eli came into our world. Man, try to be passionate about much when you have a newborn! :) Then we pulled up stakes and sold everything and returned to Bible college. So much to overcome during that time in our life. Sometimes I think it's amazing that we came out of that time period still serving the Lord. :) And then our miscarriages, and then finally (joyfully) Sarah came on the scene. Again, with the newborn-ness. Let's just say it, small children are all consuming. (in a good way, in fact, watching the Office last night made me really miss that brand-new newborn feel, but don't worry, we are done)
Anyway, now that both my babies are in school and Rob's all set with his job, and no one needs me all hours of the day and night, well, I've just had that time and leisure to press in. I've definitely relied on my quiet times for years, but now they aren't as rushed. (most days) And I'm definitely more available in my mind. So much of the past 13 years were consumed with anxiety, and excitement. I think 30 is calming that down a bit. Not that I'm not still prone, but I'm trying to just hand it back to God and say "I can't fix it anyway, can You help?" Lori had a great quote on her Facebook page the other day ...
"People often suffer the most by anticipating suffering that never happens. They, therefore, have more to bear than God gives them to bear." - old Dutch poem, author unknown
And it seriously got me thinking. I spend a lot of time worrying 'what if' and most of the time my worst fears never come true. In my quiet time on Tuesday, I was reading in Genesis about the tower of Babel. (familiar, if not comical story) I'm trying to slow down on these bible stories, not glossing over because I may think I already know it, but really reading it and seeing what truths God has to unveil. Anyway, in this story, the people built the tower for two reasons; 1.) because they were prideful and wanted to be like God (apparently they'd forgotten the whole Eve and the Apple incident) and 2.) because they wanted the tower to serve as a way to keep them from being scattered across the earth. They were afraid of being scattered. (I hadn't understood that before, but go ahead, look it up, it's in there) So, they build their fancy tower and think they are really big stuff and, you all know this part, God goes ahead and destroys it. And goes on to not only scatter the people across the face of the earth, but confuses their language as well. Lesson learned?? Acting in pride and fear will bring about a worse fate than the very thing you are fearing most. hmmm... Good stuff, right? How many decisions do you make out of fear? Or not make because of fear?
Anyhoots (Rob's new word, it's rubbing off on me) I'm beginning to realize that I can choose to lay awake and worry about what might happen, or just hand it over to God and say, well, if it happens, I can trust you to take care of it. :) I'm certainly not there yet, by any means. But, I have had some pretty big points of concern sneak into my life in the last two weeks, and I promise, I gave them back to God. And He solved two of them, just this morning. And I didn't even have to interevene. :)
So, I hope that encourages you today. I'm encouraged. And that's saying something because I've been sick for 5 days now. :) But God is in control and I am thankful for the quiet. I promise, I wrote that in my prayer journal this morning. "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 You can't beat that.
Ok, and because what is a post without a picture?? This is the kids at the zoo last weekend. They had a blast. Sarah ate way too much purple cotton candy and it was delightful. Eli barely complained about the walking. I love my kids.
And about the Photo 365, I hope to get back to it. Things have just been a little crazy and I got overwhelmed. Imagine that. Total stretch, right?
Every shoot is different. Every family is unique and special. Every couple has their own interpretation of their relationship. There is no cookie cutter session with me. I think if I get to that point, it's time to put the camera down, don't you?
We've all seen those photographers - you know the underpaid hourlys at Sears, or the over-paid wedding photographer that you can tell is simply putting their time in to get the same images - just different folks than they did at the last setting or event.
I pray before each shoot to be freshly inspired by the people in front of my lens, that I see what God sees in them. He loves each of us as His precious children and delights in our personalities and quirks. I feel like my calling is to witness that special something in you and capture it in an image. The day that I stop feeling that way about it is the day I need to close up shop.
Going to miss these faces though. Service tonight was super fun. We had a trivia game, worship, the video, and some final thoughts from Rob and I. Then we wrapped it up with a big cookie from Great American. They kind of messed it up, but I don't think anyone noticed other than me. I was trying to be a little laid back about it, but that kind of thing is hard for me.
