May 16, 2006

less than 12 hours till 27

I'm here, hanging out in a darkened hotel room with my two jabronies - feigning naps. Eli is curled up with his gameboy, Sarah's conked in her hotel crib, Rob's in session and I am treasuring the quiet, after 30 solid hours with my sweet children. I'm thinking about breaking out some scrapbooking (yes, I brought it because tomorrow's my birthday and I shouldn't have to spend every last moment of it in boring meetings that I can't vote in anyway!)

Interesting thoughts today.

Most obviously, I turn 27 tomorrow. It makes me think. I'm not panicking or regretting or counting wrinkles and grey hair (not that they aren't there). Just really taking bearing of my life. Not what I expected at twenty seven, honestly. I've accomplished a lot in some sense, and barely scraped the surface in other ways. Such as.... I have such a longing to travel, missionary work, to see the world and try and make some sort of difference, but instead I just keep feeling smaller and less able to change anything. Kind of ironic. Also ironic, getting to go to Paris only whet my appetite further for travel. I keep thinking about all the places I long to go and wondering how and when God will enable those trips. I know that sounds selfish, but (with me) that's how God works. He places a desire in my heart and eventually He goes ahead and fulfills it.

secondly, feeling very out of place here. Displaced. I've done my share of conferences. In fact, back in the day, I served as a delegate in Iowa Annual Conference (methodist) and loved it. Here I'm bored (the not voting thing is irrelevant - everything has passed uncontested - I want to stand up and ask if anyone has put any thought into any of these resolutions) and just generally (spiritually) insignificant around all these heavy hitters. Maybe it's being the newbies, but really feeling out of place. Plus, the AG denomination is just so different politically (and seemingly demographically) than the methodist church. The focus is very different.

The kids are being pretty good, but the child care is spotty and all of us sharing a room at night is hard. I am really looking forward to my time off in the morning tomorrow, hope it's restful and fun. So wish I was spending my birthday with my friends instead, but that's one of the stinky things about growing up, less and less do you get what you want - even if it is your birthday. :)

2 comments:

antho said...

Thanks for that lovely image Kim. I think you said that to me last year and I think it grossed me out then as well as now. Much appreciated! :) Looking forward to hearing from you. Have a great presentation! -a

antho said...

Ok, me? Overboard on the spicy? You are the one talking about your parents conceiving you. Defiling my birthday and all!!

Oh, and I sooooo hope Lori can do the memorial day college girls weekend thing!!! I've been thinking about it all weekend and it sounds like so much fun!! We could use some fun around here!!

Off to check out 'the Scrapping Bee' this morning. Skipping the boring voting session. Poor Rob, it's like his wife isn't here at all! Talk to you later today, I'm sure. -a