a big happy family.
Nov 2, 2005
So much for blogging at Mom and Dads...
I didn't have ten minutes to myself, let alone an opportunity to type. It was a good trip but I came home sick and tired. Glad I went though, it was so good to spend time with them. Their new house is awesome, I'll be excited to seeit when it's finished. We had a lot of fun, but my kids are so stinking off their schedule it's ridiculous. I am so happy to be home. I have a ton to do, starting with balancing the checkbook and making a financial survival plan for from now till our new job. (deep breaths - it will be ok) I just think we need to be really careful. I'll blog more later if I have a chance. Going to post some pics from the trip now.
I didn't have ten minutes to myself, let alone an opportunity to type. It was a good trip but I came home sick and tired. Glad I went though, it was so good to spend time with them. Their new house is awesome, I'll be excited to seeit when it's finished. We had a lot of fun, but my kids are so stinking off their schedule it's ridiculous. I am so happy to be home. I have a ton to do, starting with balancing the checkbook and making a financial survival plan for from now till our new job. (deep breaths - it will be ok) I just think we need to be really careful. I'll blog more later if I have a chance. Going to post some pics from the trip now.
Oct 28, 2005
to drive or not to drive
That is the question burning on the minds of many. At least everyone in this household, that is. Kim called me this afternoon and wondered if I wanted to join her on a quick trip North to see Mom and Dad. It's hard, cause I still don't feel recovered from Chicago/Champaign, but I'd love to see my parents and my little brother. Plus Rob is so hunkered down in school that it's really a great opportunity for him to play catch up. So I'm going. Glad to go in one sense, hoping to catch up with my dad, trick or treat with the kids, see their new house... But I'm really going to miss Rob, haven't felt like I've spent any time with him lately. I just love him so much, it's hard to be away, even for a few nights. Darned newlyweds. (ha ha, after eight years)
So I think we are going. Have to be honest and say pictures at the pumpkin patch are pushing the scale. Eli has gone every year since he was born, and Brea went last year. It's pretty special to us. I'm just praying they handle the car well. Eli will be fine, but Brea is another story. Pray for us! I'll try to blog while I'm gone, but mom and dad live in the twentieth century with dial-up, so no pictures till I return. Happy trails to us!
That is the question burning on the minds of many. At least everyone in this household, that is. Kim called me this afternoon and wondered if I wanted to join her on a quick trip North to see Mom and Dad. It's hard, cause I still don't feel recovered from Chicago/Champaign, but I'd love to see my parents and my little brother. Plus Rob is so hunkered down in school that it's really a great opportunity for him to play catch up. So I'm going. Glad to go in one sense, hoping to catch up with my dad, trick or treat with the kids, see their new house... But I'm really going to miss Rob, haven't felt like I've spent any time with him lately. I just love him so much, it's hard to be away, even for a few nights. Darned newlyweds. (ha ha, after eight years)
So I think we are going. Have to be honest and say pictures at the pumpkin patch are pushing the scale. Eli has gone every year since he was born, and Brea went last year. It's pretty special to us. I'm just praying they handle the car well. Eli will be fine, but Brea is another story. Pray for us! I'll try to blog while I'm gone, but mom and dad live in the twentieth century with dial-up, so no pictures till I return. Happy trails to us!
Oct 26, 2005
My life as a sitcom.
Yesterday was a toughie. The kids were trying to kill each other. Brea was really up 14 hours straight, with the exception of an hour nap or two. I finally got her to bed at 10pm. I was wiped. Tuesdays are always my hard day.
Finally got to drive my new car today, it was fun. It has really tight steering, so I like that. The moon roof is pretty cool too. Mostly I'm just glad not to have to get the kids in and out of the two door.
Planning on working on Christmas card design today. Hopefully I'll figure it out quickly and be able to knock it out quickly. We'll see. I'd like to scrap tonight. I'm all proud because I've already been to Walmart and back and have supper in the crock pot. It's a new receipe I'm trying, garlic chicken.
Big excitement, huh? the life of a stay at home mom. Now I see why they don't make sitcoms about us. No one would watch. :)
Yesterday was a toughie. The kids were trying to kill each other. Brea was really up 14 hours straight, with the exception of an hour nap or two. I finally got her to bed at 10pm. I was wiped. Tuesdays are always my hard day.
Finally got to drive my new car today, it was fun. It has really tight steering, so I like that. The moon roof is pretty cool too. Mostly I'm just glad not to have to get the kids in and out of the two door.
Planning on working on Christmas card design today. Hopefully I'll figure it out quickly and be able to knock it out quickly. We'll see. I'd like to scrap tonight. I'm all proud because I've already been to Walmart and back and have supper in the crock pot. It's a new receipe I'm trying, garlic chicken.
Big excitement, huh? the life of a stay at home mom. Now I see why they don't make sitcoms about us. No one would watch. :)
Oct 24, 2005
Five Random Facts about Me.
1) Red is my favorite color. So vivid, daring, irresponsible. Love it.
2) I hate money. Really wish I could operate without it. It's kind of an overwhelming responsibility and I'd just rather not.
3) I swear I'm truly a misplaced Chicago-an. I lived in Evanston from age 2-6 and I have never gotten it out of my system. Still hanging on to my North Shore accent. Drives my hubby nuts.
4) I was born without any pinky toe nails. (we'll leave it at that and make you ponder...)
5) I'm actually not any good with children, God just gives me grace for my own. (thank you!)
Well, that's enough for tonight. It's been a long tough day with a happy ending. Thank you Jesus!
1) Red is my favorite color. So vivid, daring, irresponsible. Love it.
2) I hate money. Really wish I could operate without it. It's kind of an overwhelming responsibility and I'd just rather not.
3) I swear I'm truly a misplaced Chicago-an. I lived in Evanston from age 2-6 and I have never gotten it out of my system. Still hanging on to my North Shore accent. Drives my hubby nuts.
4) I was born without any pinky toe nails. (we'll leave it at that and make you ponder...)
5) I'm actually not any good with children, God just gives me grace for my own. (thank you!)
Well, that's enough for tonight. It's been a long tough day with a happy ending. Thank you Jesus!
another day...
deep breaths. Moving slowly into being back at home. It started with wake-up, that brutal "Mommy - Sarah's up" at 8am. Wouldn't have been so bad if Rob and I hadn't been in dating mode and up until 2am last night solving the world's problems. Seems like I've just stepped right back in to our life, dealing with our issues. Not to complain, it sure was fun to forget for a bit. But I really think our job situation is unsalvagable. So very sad, disheartening. I'm going to have to cancel Thanksgiving, which will be tough, but I know I can't handle the stress of it, not with the way things are going. We are going to have to tighten our belts, which is almost comical, considering that we barely even have belts to tighten anymore. :) (green cordorouy jackets aside!) I canceled our dish network this morning, just one more bill we don't need. I was sad, cause they shut it off the moment I got off the phone with them. Felt bad for the kids, they were in the middle of Sesame Street. Rob will have to look and see if he can set up the antennae again for us. Those kids watch too much tv anyway! :) -the glass really is half full, I promise-
Eli has his first school picture today. I feel so old. I think it's more real to me than when he started pre-schoool, that classic blue background elementary school photo. deep breaths.... My baby is growing up right before my eyes. He was screened for school last week and I am embaressed that he didn't know his last name that day. I've told him hundreds of times, but he forgets. It's annoying. So now we are drilling it. Important life information in my book.
So Rob and I had brilliant conversation last night. I can totally see where we are the same people who met and fell in love almost nine years ago. (ack, I am old!) We just connect on so many levels. I feel so blessed. One of our big subject matters was how I feel like everything is so bad here, and have this hope that everything will be better in our new home. So then I try and be all realistic and say, is it really going to be better or is the grass just greener??? But truly, after lots of examination, all of our issues are completely situational. None of our frustrations are relational - with long term relationships anyway. Our economic difficulties are a direct result of our career choices (or lack there of), our frustration with our home is purely size and lack of landlord/responsible party. Our lack of friends is due to several things, mostly being no car or one car, and the foot in two places (school,church, and here). I really believe that all of those things will change in our new position and home. Not to say we won't have new challenges - life is never without challenges - but they will definately be different. The major important things in life, the relational and morality issues, we are doing great in that department. I am so ready to shine in the next stage. I know Rob is too.
Well, now I've rambled. Oh well. It's my monologue.
deep breaths. Moving slowly into being back at home. It started with wake-up, that brutal "Mommy - Sarah's up" at 8am. Wouldn't have been so bad if Rob and I hadn't been in dating mode and up until 2am last night solving the world's problems. Seems like I've just stepped right back in to our life, dealing with our issues. Not to complain, it sure was fun to forget for a bit. But I really think our job situation is unsalvagable. So very sad, disheartening. I'm going to have to cancel Thanksgiving, which will be tough, but I know I can't handle the stress of it, not with the way things are going. We are going to have to tighten our belts, which is almost comical, considering that we barely even have belts to tighten anymore. :) (green cordorouy jackets aside!) I canceled our dish network this morning, just one more bill we don't need. I was sad, cause they shut it off the moment I got off the phone with them. Felt bad for the kids, they were in the middle of Sesame Street. Rob will have to look and see if he can set up the antennae again for us. Those kids watch too much tv anyway! :) -the glass really is half full, I promise-
Eli has his first school picture today. I feel so old. I think it's more real to me than when he started pre-schoool, that classic blue background elementary school photo. deep breaths.... My baby is growing up right before my eyes. He was screened for school last week and I am embaressed that he didn't know his last name that day. I've told him hundreds of times, but he forgets. It's annoying. So now we are drilling it. Important life information in my book.
So Rob and I had brilliant conversation last night. I can totally see where we are the same people who met and fell in love almost nine years ago. (ack, I am old!) We just connect on so many levels. I feel so blessed. One of our big subject matters was how I feel like everything is so bad here, and have this hope that everything will be better in our new home. So then I try and be all realistic and say, is it really going to be better or is the grass just greener??? But truly, after lots of examination, all of our issues are completely situational. None of our frustrations are relational - with long term relationships anyway. Our economic difficulties are a direct result of our career choices (or lack there of), our frustration with our home is purely size and lack of landlord/responsible party. Our lack of friends is due to several things, mostly being no car or one car, and the foot in two places (school,church, and here). I really believe that all of those things will change in our new position and home. Not to say we won't have new challenges - life is never without challenges - but they will definately be different. The major important things in life, the relational and morality issues, we are doing great in that department. I am so ready to shine in the next stage. I know Rob is too.
Well, now I've rambled. Oh well. It's my monologue.
Oct 23, 2005
good to be home.
So I finally posted my Chicago pics. I am sad because I didn't really get any good ones of me and Kim, but we spent a lot of time together. There's one of me bored in the car, while she's chatting on the cell phone, but that won't do. It was really such a great trip. I am very thankful to be home though, I really missed my hubby and my kids. We picked them up this morning, Brea was so thrilled to see us. She didn't stop smiling all day, even at bed time. I missed them a lot, but Rob the most.
I did finally get a picture of me in my hot new coat, will post that here in a moment. Of course, we tumbled into lots going on here at home, decisions to be made about work and school. I'm just really praying for guidance and trying to keep the clear head that God gifted me with during my vacation. It was so good to get away and gain some clarity. Now if I can just keep that perspective for the next 7-8 weeks. Seeing our new house again really helped remind me how temporal these last weeks are, how we are almost through and on to our new life. Just have to keep focused. I know I say that a lot, but I need constant reminding to remain sane in these final moments of crisis.
So I finally posted my Chicago pics. I am sad because I didn't really get any good ones of me and Kim, but we spent a lot of time together. There's one of me bored in the car, while she's chatting on the cell phone, but that won't do. It was really such a great trip. I am very thankful to be home though, I really missed my hubby and my kids. We picked them up this morning, Brea was so thrilled to see us. She didn't stop smiling all day, even at bed time. I missed them a lot, but Rob the most.
I did finally get a picture of me in my hot new coat, will post that here in a moment. Of course, we tumbled into lots going on here at home, decisions to be made about work and school. I'm just really praying for guidance and trying to keep the clear head that God gifted me with during my vacation. It was so good to get away and gain some clarity. Now if I can just keep that perspective for the next 7-8 weeks. Seeing our new house again really helped remind me how temporal these last weeks are, how we are almost through and on to our new life. Just have to keep focused. I know I say that a lot, but I need constant reminding to remain sane in these final moments of crisis.
Oct 21, 2005
Scrapbook shopping and other delights.
Had another all-star day today. Honestly it was just exciting to wake up and use the bathroom right away, rather than dealing with small children before my eyes are even adjusted to the light! I woke up lazily, checked my email and blogged before I even showered. Char and I enjoyed a great lunch at Za's (a fun italian cafe) with a friend of hers. Then we got manicures and pedicures at the local beauty school. It was kind of a mess, they didn't know what they were doing and it took too long, but it was really pleasant and I felt very special. Very relaxing. I had never had a manicure or a pedicure and my nails look great. very fun.
Later Kim met us and we were headed back to Char's when we spied a scrapbook store. Of course we had to stop, and actually found a second one just for fun. We topped off the afternoon with a late dinner at Cheddar's (mmmmmm). I had a big salad. Very happy tummy now. It was great not to have to share for once. Ate my meal in peace, had adult conversation, sat for a long time afterwards while things digested. It was fantastic.
We are going to watch a video now. And sleep. Hmmm. sleep. Sounds good right about now. Headed home tomorrow. Can't wait, I miss my hubby.
Had another all-star day today. Honestly it was just exciting to wake up and use the bathroom right away, rather than dealing with small children before my eyes are even adjusted to the light! I woke up lazily, checked my email and blogged before I even showered. Char and I enjoyed a great lunch at Za's (a fun italian cafe) with a friend of hers. Then we got manicures and pedicures at the local beauty school. It was kind of a mess, they didn't know what they were doing and it took too long, but it was really pleasant and I felt very special. Very relaxing. I had never had a manicure or a pedicure and my nails look great. very fun.
Later Kim met us and we were headed back to Char's when we spied a scrapbook store. Of course we had to stop, and actually found a second one just for fun. We topped off the afternoon with a late dinner at Cheddar's (mmmmmm). I had a big salad. Very happy tummy now. It was great not to have to share for once. Ate my meal in peace, had adult conversation, sat for a long time afterwards while things digested. It was fantastic.
We are going to watch a video now. And sleep. Hmmm. sleep. Sounds good right about now. Headed home tomorrow. Can't wait, I miss my hubby.
shopping on Michigan Avenue and other such nonsense.
So today was IKEA day. I woke up so excited for the day. I had never been to IKEA and it was everything I expected and more. I think Char was shocked at how excited I was over it, but I'm really just an excitable person. I found some great deals, and got a lot of bang for my buck. Things I'm most excited about? A giant metal board for my studio (to hang stuff on), a shelf to hold my primas, and some sweet new drinking glasses for the family. Very fun!
We were leaving IKEA and missed our exit, got way off course (almost into Indiana) and decided rather than fighting the terrible outbound traffic, we should just turn around and head back into the city. So we drove the loop, with me galking my camera, taking pictures like a true tourist. It was amazing. We finally parked down on Navy Pier, paying way too much, but Char thought it was worth it. We walked up and down the pier, we ventured up Grand St and eventually found Michigan Ave. We ate dinner, shopped and just wandered around. It was incredible. I loved the buildings, the lights. Wow. Very stinking fun. I got an fantastic bright green courdoroy jacket from the Gap. It's so hot! I can't wait to show Rob! very trendy! I will post pictures from our excursion when I get home, can't now because I didn't bring my drive for it. Plus I'm using Kim's computer.
So off to start the day. We are getting pedicures and manicures. Out for lunch I think. Just generally getting spoiled. It's been really nice! I do miss Rob and the kids, but anyone who reads this on a regular basis knows how much I need a vacation!! :) Off to enjoy my weekend!
So today was IKEA day. I woke up so excited for the day. I had never been to IKEA and it was everything I expected and more. I think Char was shocked at how excited I was over it, but I'm really just an excitable person. I found some great deals, and got a lot of bang for my buck. Things I'm most excited about? A giant metal board for my studio (to hang stuff on), a shelf to hold my primas, and some sweet new drinking glasses for the family. Very fun!
We were leaving IKEA and missed our exit, got way off course (almost into Indiana) and decided rather than fighting the terrible outbound traffic, we should just turn around and head back into the city. So we drove the loop, with me galking my camera, taking pictures like a true tourist. It was amazing. We finally parked down on Navy Pier, paying way too much, but Char thought it was worth it. We walked up and down the pier, we ventured up Grand St and eventually found Michigan Ave. We ate dinner, shopped and just wandered around. It was incredible. I loved the buildings, the lights. Wow. Very stinking fun. I got an fantastic bright green courdoroy jacket from the Gap. It's so hot! I can't wait to show Rob! very trendy! I will post pictures from our excursion when I get home, can't now because I didn't bring my drive for it. Plus I'm using Kim's computer.
So off to start the day. We are getting pedicures and manicures. Out for lunch I think. Just generally getting spoiled. It's been really nice! I do miss Rob and the kids, but anyone who reads this on a regular basis knows how much I need a vacation!! :) Off to enjoy my weekend!
Oct 18, 2005
I must have been just too happy the other day.
Cause of course, the world comes crashing down last night. Our job has been really unstable lately, and we got a not-so-nice email yesterday. Rob and I are questioning our situation again. It's crazy, we are so stinking close to being done. But it's not like we can just coast across the finish line....
So we were reeling from theat but had an open house for Eli's preschool. We are driving home and the car won't shift out of first gear. Pretty confident that it's the transmission, it's had problems since Mom and Dad loaned it to us. Always all at once. I am thankful that God has provided us with a new car, but we won't have the money to get it for another ten days or so. Just praying it comes early so we can resolve all this.
I'm hanging on to my joy. I am, I promise.
Cause of course, the world comes crashing down last night. Our job has been really unstable lately, and we got a not-so-nice email yesterday. Rob and I are questioning our situation again. It's crazy, we are so stinking close to being done. But it's not like we can just coast across the finish line....
So we were reeling from theat but had an open house for Eli's preschool. We are driving home and the car won't shift out of first gear. Pretty confident that it's the transmission, it's had problems since Mom and Dad loaned it to us. Always all at once. I am thankful that God has provided us with a new car, but we won't have the money to get it for another ten days or so. Just praying it comes early so we can resolve all this.
I'm hanging on to my joy. I am, I promise.
Oct 17, 2005
I love the fall weather.
Now, most everybody knows that I'm not a big fan of Missouri, but there are a few days out of the year here where it's just breath-taking. Today is absolutely one of those days. The leaves are crisp and changing colors, the air is warm and breezy, but not sticky hot (like normal). I'm dying to snap a few pictures of the kids this afternoon, when I pick up Eli from school. I spied a beautiful maple in full flaming glory right by his school, so I'm going to bring my camera and press my luck. They are pretty tired of pictures after yesterday, but it's just too good of an opportunity to pass up.
Rob's officially on fall break, but he's busting his hump to finish a mammoth paper. I feel so bad for him, working so hard, but I know it's temporary. He says he's just not in the mood to write a paper, but I told him that's no excuse, he needs to do it unless he's in the mood to fail and take another semester this spring.
I know it's fall, but it feels like spring to me. Life is just starting over, it makes me so happy. A new car, a new house, a new town. I'm so thankful. Rob and I are just in awe of God right now. It's a happy place to be.
Now, most everybody knows that I'm not a big fan of Missouri, but there are a few days out of the year here where it's just breath-taking. Today is absolutely one of those days. The leaves are crisp and changing colors, the air is warm and breezy, but not sticky hot (like normal). I'm dying to snap a few pictures of the kids this afternoon, when I pick up Eli from school. I spied a beautiful maple in full flaming glory right by his school, so I'm going to bring my camera and press my luck. They are pretty tired of pictures after yesterday, but it's just too good of an opportunity to pass up.
Rob's officially on fall break, but he's busting his hump to finish a mammoth paper. I feel so bad for him, working so hard, but I know it's temporary. He says he's just not in the mood to write a paper, but I told him that's no excuse, he needs to do it unless he's in the mood to fail and take another semester this spring.
I know it's fall, but it feels like spring to me. Life is just starting over, it makes me so happy. A new car, a new house, a new town. I'm so thankful. Rob and I are just in awe of God right now. It's a happy place to be.
Oct 16, 2005
Family pictures are so fun!!
We had a great time taking pictures in the park today. I have a friend from my scrapbooking group who took our christmas pics last year, she did such a great job I asked her to do it again this year. I know it seems early, but I want to get cards done before thanksgiving, since 20 people are descending on our household that weekend, and then we are moving three weeks later.
Anyhoo, they went really well. I'm loving the digitals, but I'll have to wait another week or so to be able to afford to develop the film. I'm very confident though, Becky is extremely talented. Posting a few here.
We had a great time taking pictures in the park today. I have a friend from my scrapbooking group who took our christmas pics last year, she did such a great job I asked her to do it again this year. I know it seems early, but I want to get cards done before thanksgiving, since 20 people are descending on our household that weekend, and then we are moving three weeks later.
Anyhoo, they went really well. I'm loving the digitals, but I'll have to wait another week or so to be able to afford to develop the film. I'm very confident though, Becky is extremely talented. Posting a few here.
Oct 15, 2005
EEEEE!!!!!
Just a happy day and that seemed like the appropriate response!! So much good happened today, it was unbelievable.
Started just like any normal day, painfully early and groggy. Brea was up at seven am, ready to play. I had been up with Rob until nearly one, so that's kind of a short night. So I let Rob sleep in, but then Brea was getting drowsy and Rob and I had work to do around the camp. So she slept and Rob and I hauled tables and chairs (which I hate, definitely my low) for a couple hours in prep for our final group of the summer. I know it's October, but we've still had camp and this is it. So that's a happy day in my book to begin with.
We came in and got an early lunch, I called on a car ad that Rob had found at school. We went to check it out and it was such a good deal. We test drove it, spoke with the seller, took it to get it checked out by a mechanic. We decided to make an offer. It's a 97 Dodge Intrepid, green, in just beautiful shape. We are so excited. It will take us a couple weeks to get the rest of the money, but it will be cash, so we won't have a loan at all. What a relief.
I came home and called Lori, which I'm sure she thinks we are crazy, but we just both felt so strongly that it was a God thing. Then I went for a hair appointment at a fun salon in town here. She did a brilliant job - and was so cheap! I'm going to post a picture Rob took of me tonight. I love it. Came home and the local scrapbook store called to say that the new HKS line was in. EEE!!! So exciting, I thought they weren't going to carry it at all, since some HKS stuff is available at Targets (but not ours!). So I grabbed Brea and ran to town to meet Kim and shop. Bought some way cool stuff with my full card, so my total was less than $10. Picked up a take and bake pizza on the way home and we vegged out in front of Because of Wynn Dixie as a family. (after I called Lori again to share, of course!) We spent good time putting the kids to bed and now I'm all set to scrapbook. Super day, I tell you. So excited for this week, going to see my little sister and getting to check out IKEA and all. Good times.
Just a happy day and that seemed like the appropriate response!! So much good happened today, it was unbelievable.
Started just like any normal day, painfully early and groggy. Brea was up at seven am, ready to play. I had been up with Rob until nearly one, so that's kind of a short night. So I let Rob sleep in, but then Brea was getting drowsy and Rob and I had work to do around the camp. So she slept and Rob and I hauled tables and chairs (which I hate, definitely my low) for a couple hours in prep for our final group of the summer. I know it's October, but we've still had camp and this is it. So that's a happy day in my book to begin with.
We came in and got an early lunch, I called on a car ad that Rob had found at school. We went to check it out and it was such a good deal. We test drove it, spoke with the seller, took it to get it checked out by a mechanic. We decided to make an offer. It's a 97 Dodge Intrepid, green, in just beautiful shape. We are so excited. It will take us a couple weeks to get the rest of the money, but it will be cash, so we won't have a loan at all. What a relief.
I came home and called Lori, which I'm sure she thinks we are crazy, but we just both felt so strongly that it was a God thing. Then I went for a hair appointment at a fun salon in town here. She did a brilliant job - and was so cheap! I'm going to post a picture Rob took of me tonight. I love it. Came home and the local scrapbook store called to say that the new HKS line was in. EEE!!! So exciting, I thought they weren't going to carry it at all, since some HKS stuff is available at Targets (but not ours!). So I grabbed Brea and ran to town to meet Kim and shop. Bought some way cool stuff with my full card, so my total was less than $10. Picked up a take and bake pizza on the way home and we vegged out in front of Because of Wynn Dixie as a family. (after I called Lori again to share, of course!) We spent good time putting the kids to bed and now I'm all set to scrapbook. Super day, I tell you. So excited for this week, going to see my little sister and getting to check out IKEA and all. Good times.
Oct 13, 2005
Do you ever just wish you could edit your past?
You know what I mean? Like pictures in a scrapbook, where you could just crop out the not pretty parts, and only scrap the memories you want to keep. Instead I'm haunted by bad choices, stupid mistakes, thoughtless comments. I can keep them at bay during the day, busying myself with the everyday hustle of caring for two small children, but when I lay down to sleep it all comes back with frightening momentum.
I'm sure you are all wondering what deep dark secrets lay hidden in my brain, but I don't even mean big scary immoral stuff, I just mean the stupid things. That's what haunts me. Things that I should have known better than to do, or knew better but just did (or didn't do) anyway. ergh. I overthink everything. Maybe that's why this blog is good.... or bad... I don't know. Have to think on that one. :)
You know what I mean? Like pictures in a scrapbook, where you could just crop out the not pretty parts, and only scrap the memories you want to keep. Instead I'm haunted by bad choices, stupid mistakes, thoughtless comments. I can keep them at bay during the day, busying myself with the everyday hustle of caring for two small children, but when I lay down to sleep it all comes back with frightening momentum.
I'm sure you are all wondering what deep dark secrets lay hidden in my brain, but I don't even mean big scary immoral stuff, I just mean the stupid things. That's what haunts me. Things that I should have known better than to do, or knew better but just did (or didn't do) anyway. ergh. I overthink everything. Maybe that's why this blog is good.... or bad... I don't know. Have to think on that one. :)
More thoughts on scrapping
I can't get over how productive I've been scrapping lately. It's exciting. I always think if I could just take time to do it every day that I would hit and maintain a certain level of creativity. I think I'm trying to prove my theory. I want to put my work on here, but since I'm working for HOF, I can't. Maybe after I finish up my entries and get them mailed. I am going to put up an effer dare layout - since it's not HOF material. It's really not at all like what I'm doing these days, but it was fast and fun. And I used an ancient piece of paper from my stash! woohoo!
I really spend way too much time daydreaming about my scrapping room - being able to wander in there any time of day, leave anything out, it will be so freeing. Plus Brea will be sleeping upstairs, so I can play with the lights on and music going! fun for me!!
I am anxiously awaiting the new HKS line, it's been very inspiring for me lately. Can't wait to see it, touch it in real life.
I can't get over how productive I've been scrapping lately. It's exciting. I always think if I could just take time to do it every day that I would hit and maintain a certain level of creativity. I think I'm trying to prove my theory. I want to put my work on here, but since I'm working for HOF, I can't. Maybe after I finish up my entries and get them mailed. I am going to put up an effer dare layout - since it's not HOF material. It's really not at all like what I'm doing these days, but it was fast and fun. And I used an ancient piece of paper from my stash! woohoo!
I really spend way too much time daydreaming about my scrapping room - being able to wander in there any time of day, leave anything out, it will be so freeing. Plus Brea will be sleeping upstairs, so I can play with the lights on and music going! fun for me!!
I am anxiously awaiting the new HKS line, it's been very inspiring for me lately. Can't wait to see it, touch it in real life.
Oct 11, 2005
Oh my long day!!!
wow. Should have figured that since yesterday was such an awesome productive day that today would stink. Started off on a bad foot - terrible nightmares all night, the kind that it would have been more restful to not sleep. Woke up to cranky kids. Monster Mom made several appearances, unfortunately. Right down to tonight, Brea's crying in her crib now, but it's so late and I know she's wiped out, she's just teething so monstrously. ergh. I need a vacation.
wow. Should have figured that since yesterday was such an awesome productive day that today would stink. Started off on a bad foot - terrible nightmares all night, the kind that it would have been more restful to not sleep. Woke up to cranky kids. Monster Mom made several appearances, unfortunately. Right down to tonight, Brea's crying in her crib now, but it's so late and I know she's wiped out, she's just teething so monstrously. ergh. I need a vacation.
Oct 10, 2005
I told Rob this morning, I think life is just easier now that we know where we are going to land. Which is kind of funny, being a christian, in theory, you always know where you are going to land. :) And I try to keep that in perspective, but the here and now is pretty real too. I do feel like a burden has been lifted though, even though we are still stuck in our too small house with our too small paycheck, the end is around the corner, and our new life in Illinois awaits us.
I got to thinking about it this morning. I am so excited to become a resident of Illinois. I'm excited for my IL driver's license and voter's registration card! (I'm a goober, I know!) I left Illinois when I was 6, so it's been twenty years. It already feels like home. I have never felt that way about Missouri, never have I been proud to be a resident of this state. It's been humbling to recieve aid from the state, and I am grateful. But I'm so excited to be upstanding, contributing members of society again. I think Rob is looking forward to providing for our family too. These past three years have been such a challenge for us both. It will be good to be back up on our own two feet again.
Today has just been a good day. Cleaned house all morning, just spent the last hour planning pages for tonight's small group. I'm headed out this afternoon for a little Walmart trip by myself (woohoo!), plan supper and spend a few hours playing with the kids, and then tonight is small group. A great day really. I'm so thankful. I can feel the cloud lifting. The sun is peaking out.
I got to thinking about it this morning. I am so excited to become a resident of Illinois. I'm excited for my IL driver's license and voter's registration card! (I'm a goober, I know!) I left Illinois when I was 6, so it's been twenty years. It already feels like home. I have never felt that way about Missouri, never have I been proud to be a resident of this state. It's been humbling to recieve aid from the state, and I am grateful. But I'm so excited to be upstanding, contributing members of society again. I think Rob is looking forward to providing for our family too. These past three years have been such a challenge for us both. It will be good to be back up on our own two feet again.
Today has just been a good day. Cleaned house all morning, just spent the last hour planning pages for tonight's small group. I'm headed out this afternoon for a little Walmart trip by myself (woohoo!), plan supper and spend a few hours playing with the kids, and then tonight is small group. A great day really. I'm so thankful. I can feel the cloud lifting. The sun is peaking out.
Oct 9, 2005
I really like taking pictures.
In case I haven't mentioned that before. I really enjoy photography. I could do it full-time, if I was any good, if I had the right equipment. I dream about a Canon Digital Rebel, I think it would be so fun. Now you can get film rebels for about $200 at Walmart, it just makes me sick. But I know I would spend the savings in film in less than a year... Maybe some day. hmm.
Had a lot of fun doing photos for the Snavely's this afternoon. Sad about the way my digital performed though. Must have been a funky lighting situation, I got a glare off the lens it seemed. Very frustrating. I'm hoping that Becky's camera took better shots - she let me use her rebel. (it was exciting!) Some of mine turned out great, but most were sub-par. I'm sure she'll have the film developed by tomorrow night if I know Becky. We'll see.
In case I haven't mentioned that before. I really enjoy photography. I could do it full-time, if I was any good, if I had the right equipment. I dream about a Canon Digital Rebel, I think it would be so fun. Now you can get film rebels for about $200 at Walmart, it just makes me sick. But I know I would spend the savings in film in less than a year... Maybe some day. hmm.
Had a lot of fun doing photos for the Snavely's this afternoon. Sad about the way my digital performed though. Must have been a funky lighting situation, I got a glare off the lens it seemed. Very frustrating. I'm hoping that Becky's camera took better shots - she let me use her rebel. (it was exciting!) Some of mine turned out great, but most were sub-par. I'm sure she'll have the film developed by tomorrow night if I know Becky. We'll see.
the flu stinks
We are all throwing up here. Or pooping our guts out. :) Sorry, that's a little uncouth. But we all have the flu. I'm feeling a little better today, but still weak from yesterday. At one point I actually fell asleep on the bathroom floor! (ew!) It was just a strange day. I had met with my friend Traci yesterday morning, we visited a couple of stores and then did lunch, but I was too sick to eat at that point. I got home and died. I'm glad I went though, I would have been way sad if we hadn't gotten together. She is visiting all the way from Wisconsin.
Eli has had it the hardest of all of us. He's been laying around since yesterday morning, just now he ate for the first time since Friday. Poor kid. Brea keeps looking at us like "Get up and do something you lazy bums!" because she got it first and is feeling better now.
It's sad to me, a great weekend lost to flu. I was hoping to play some. Kim was supposed to come over and hang out with me last night. But I don't want her to get sick too. blah.
I'm scheduled to take pictures of a family this afternoon - I am really looking forward to it. I had so much fun taking photos of my sister's wedding, that this should be awesome too. I need to check all my equipment before I leave at four. Other than that I'm just going to lay around all day and be lazy, trying to recoup from yesterday.
We are all throwing up here. Or pooping our guts out. :) Sorry, that's a little uncouth. But we all have the flu. I'm feeling a little better today, but still weak from yesterday. At one point I actually fell asleep on the bathroom floor! (ew!) It was just a strange day. I had met with my friend Traci yesterday morning, we visited a couple of stores and then did lunch, but I was too sick to eat at that point. I got home and died. I'm glad I went though, I would have been way sad if we hadn't gotten together. She is visiting all the way from Wisconsin.
Eli has had it the hardest of all of us. He's been laying around since yesterday morning, just now he ate for the first time since Friday. Poor kid. Brea keeps looking at us like "Get up and do something you lazy bums!" because she got it first and is feeling better now.
It's sad to me, a great weekend lost to flu. I was hoping to play some. Kim was supposed to come over and hang out with me last night. But I don't want her to get sick too. blah.
I'm scheduled to take pictures of a family this afternoon - I am really looking forward to it. I had so much fun taking photos of my sister's wedding, that this should be awesome too. I need to check all my equipment before I leave at four. Other than that I'm just going to lay around all day and be lazy, trying to recoup from yesterday.
Oct 7, 2005
Hee Hee Hee
(laughs wickedly)
I'm going to be all cool, pretending I'm some up and coming scrapbook star and say the can line "I wish I could show you what I'm working on, but it's a secret... but it's *so* cool!!" (gag, gag, barf, barf)
But cause it's me and I'm crazy I'll say it anyway!! I am working on some super-sweet scrapbook action, but it IS a secret because I'm HOF bound. Well, not really, but maybe an honorable mention?? I'm having so much fun with the process. I think I've completed 7 layouts now - for a total of ten, but they are by no means my final entries. I'm just working out the kinks, defining my style and getting ready for a big finish. :) Happy mood today. Did two layouts last night and working on a two page spread this morning. Feels good to be so productive, even with my house crumbling around about me. Details.
My friend Traci is on her way to Springfield. We are going to get together to catch up tomorrow. We'll meet at ScrapGen, one of my fav. hangouts in town, but it shouldn't be too dangerous since I was just there last weekend. Unless, of course, they have new HKS stuff, but it's advantus, so I won't hold my breath. I'm excited to show Traci my new work. Excited to hear about her new house and job. It will be a welcome relief to the monotony of here. I have to give Rob some study time tomorrow, but that's ok, cause Kim is back and will come to play tomorrow night I think. (yippee!)
We are having dinner with LeAnn and Travis tonight - our youth pastors. It's sad cause I'm pretty sure it will be our last dinner with them. I'll miss LeAnn a lot, we've been fast friends. Wow, we sound so social all of the sudden. A glimpse of the old RobNAnna - making an early appearance?
That's my prayer, that we'll go back to our old easy-going happy selves when we leave the forsaken place. I pray every day that it's the place and not us, that our core personalities haven't changed. Time will tell. Toodles!
(laughs wickedly)
I'm going to be all cool, pretending I'm some up and coming scrapbook star and say the can line "I wish I could show you what I'm working on, but it's a secret... but it's *so* cool!!" (gag, gag, barf, barf)
But cause it's me and I'm crazy I'll say it anyway!! I am working on some super-sweet scrapbook action, but it IS a secret because I'm HOF bound. Well, not really, but maybe an honorable mention?? I'm having so much fun with the process. I think I've completed 7 layouts now - for a total of ten, but they are by no means my final entries. I'm just working out the kinks, defining my style and getting ready for a big finish. :) Happy mood today. Did two layouts last night and working on a two page spread this morning. Feels good to be so productive, even with my house crumbling around about me. Details.
My friend Traci is on her way to Springfield. We are going to get together to catch up tomorrow. We'll meet at ScrapGen, one of my fav. hangouts in town, but it shouldn't be too dangerous since I was just there last weekend. Unless, of course, they have new HKS stuff, but it's advantus, so I won't hold my breath. I'm excited to show Traci my new work. Excited to hear about her new house and job. It will be a welcome relief to the monotony of here. I have to give Rob some study time tomorrow, but that's ok, cause Kim is back and will come to play tomorrow night I think. (yippee!)
We are having dinner with LeAnn and Travis tonight - our youth pastors. It's sad cause I'm pretty sure it will be our last dinner with them. I'll miss LeAnn a lot, we've been fast friends. Wow, we sound so social all of the sudden. A glimpse of the old RobNAnna - making an early appearance?
That's my prayer, that we'll go back to our old easy-going happy selves when we leave the forsaken place. I pray every day that it's the place and not us, that our core personalities haven't changed. Time will tell. Toodles!
Oct 6, 2005
Blur.
It's hard to know where to start. Seems like things have kind of been in a blur lately. I am so excited to be moving. I wish it wasn't still ten weeks away, but that's ok. I'm trying to figure out colors for the house, but it's almost stressful because I'm not there, living in it or at least visiting it and thinking about each room. I really want to do one room lime, or something interesting like that, but not sure which. So far I have only two rooms planned; the studio and the master bedroom. Everything else is up for grabs. I am really excited to make it our own though. We are still waiting to hear if they will do the carpeting for us or not - I'm hoping yes. Also Rob asked for a Mac laptop, so that he can do a lot of videos/dvds, etc. The board will meet again and get back to us.
I took Sarah to the dr yesterday, a follow up for her ears, which are finally better. He prescribed elidel, which made me nervous, but we discussed it and it's really the best choice for her excema - since it's uncontrollable at this point. He also prescribed an antibiotic for her diaper rash. The amount medicaid paid at the pharmacy yesterday was over $300!! Isn't that crazy? I'm so thankful we will have insurance going into our new job.
Sarah had a hard time going to bed last night and woke up with a fever. She threw up twice already this morning. I feel so bad for her, she's been sick so much. We ran to the grocery store and got more Liquilytes to keep her hydrated. We are planning on having dinner with friends tomorrow night and I'm so looking forward to it. ergh. I'm just praying for her, we'll see.
Well, I should go do something productive now.
It's hard to know where to start. Seems like things have kind of been in a blur lately. I am so excited to be moving. I wish it wasn't still ten weeks away, but that's ok. I'm trying to figure out colors for the house, but it's almost stressful because I'm not there, living in it or at least visiting it and thinking about each room. I really want to do one room lime, or something interesting like that, but not sure which. So far I have only two rooms planned; the studio and the master bedroom. Everything else is up for grabs. I am really excited to make it our own though. We are still waiting to hear if they will do the carpeting for us or not - I'm hoping yes. Also Rob asked for a Mac laptop, so that he can do a lot of videos/dvds, etc. The board will meet again and get back to us.
I took Sarah to the dr yesterday, a follow up for her ears, which are finally better. He prescribed elidel, which made me nervous, but we discussed it and it's really the best choice for her excema - since it's uncontrollable at this point. He also prescribed an antibiotic for her diaper rash. The amount medicaid paid at the pharmacy yesterday was over $300!! Isn't that crazy? I'm so thankful we will have insurance going into our new job.
Sarah had a hard time going to bed last night and woke up with a fever. She threw up twice already this morning. I feel so bad for her, she's been sick so much. We ran to the grocery store and got more Liquilytes to keep her hydrated. We are planning on having dinner with friends tomorrow night and I'm so looking forward to it. ergh. I'm just praying for her, we'll see.
Well, I should go do something productive now.
Oct 3, 2005
I'm married to a pastor now!!
It's hard to believe. Unreal. I'm so happy. They offered us the job. Rob will email in the morning to accept it. We will move over Christmas break. I will actually be a pastor's wife. It's so thrilling. All these years of sacrifice and effort, it's going to be worth it. They offered us a great salary package, complete with health insurance. They are going to do some updates to the house between now and December. We are moving in ten weeks. Can you tell that I am counting down? Good by little house, good bye.
It's hard to believe. Unreal. I'm so happy. They offered us the job. Rob will email in the morning to accept it. We will move over Christmas break. I will actually be a pastor's wife. It's so thrilling. All these years of sacrifice and effort, it's going to be worth it. They offered us a great salary package, complete with health insurance. They are going to do some updates to the house between now and December. We are moving in ten weeks. Can you tell that I am counting down? Good by little house, good bye.
Oct 2, 2005
the waiting....
Anyone who knows me would tell you that I am not a patient person. Waiting is just not my strong suit and waiting for today (or tomorrow's ) phone call is no exception. Pins and needles. There is just a lot riding on it, do we stay or do we go? In the meanwhile I am trying to scrapbook to pass the time. I've touched up a page from the other day and done a new one. They are ok. I made cards last night with a bunch of prima's, so I felt productive. I'd like to be playing more now, but Sarah is up from her non-nap. It kills me - she slept 3 hours for Rob yesterday, but today she won't sleep for anything. (ergh!)
Shopping yesterday was fun. I got a new album for all my loose pages, so that makes me happy. I found a couple fun things on clearance, half off, and that's exciting. I'm in a strange mood though, so scrapping isn't coming naturally today. I keep fantacizing about my studio, and being able to leave things out, having everything within reach. I am *so* excited for that.
And so we wait....
Anyone who knows me would tell you that I am not a patient person. Waiting is just not my strong suit and waiting for today (or tomorrow's ) phone call is no exception. Pins and needles. There is just a lot riding on it, do we stay or do we go? In the meanwhile I am trying to scrapbook to pass the time. I've touched up a page from the other day and done a new one. They are ok. I made cards last night with a bunch of prima's, so I felt productive. I'd like to be playing more now, but Sarah is up from her non-nap. It kills me - she slept 3 hours for Rob yesterday, but today she won't sleep for anything. (ergh!)
Shopping yesterday was fun. I got a new album for all my loose pages, so that makes me happy. I found a couple fun things on clearance, half off, and that's exciting. I'm in a strange mood though, so scrapping isn't coming naturally today. I keep fantacizing about my studio, and being able to leave things out, having everything within reach. I am *so* excited for that.
And so we wait....
Oct 1, 2005
Ready, set, SCRAPBOOK SHOP!!!
Yippee. I am going on a well-deserved shopping trip this afternoon with my small group gals. It is kind of bittersweet, because I am fairly certain this will be my last event with them, and I will miss them all very much. My small group has been an absolute gift in my life and I am very thankful for each one of those gals. We are going to McAllister's deli for lunch and then checking out the sale at the Northside Hobby Lobby, and a scrapbook store or two after that. I am in dire need of a new album, so that is my goal for the day, since I'm nearly twenty pages out of my last album already. I haven't been posting anything on 2peas lately because I'm officially working on HOF now. (so exciting)
I feel bad spending any money today, but after surviving yesterday I am so thankful to have some previously scheduled time away. It's going to be lots of fun! I'll try and post some pictures later.
Yippee. I am going on a well-deserved shopping trip this afternoon with my small group gals. It is kind of bittersweet, because I am fairly certain this will be my last event with them, and I will miss them all very much. My small group has been an absolute gift in my life and I am very thankful for each one of those gals. We are going to McAllister's deli for lunch and then checking out the sale at the Northside Hobby Lobby, and a scrapbook store or two after that. I am in dire need of a new album, so that is my goal for the day, since I'm nearly twenty pages out of my last album already. I haven't been posting anything on 2peas lately because I'm officially working on HOF now. (so exciting)
I feel bad spending any money today, but after surviving yesterday I am so thankful to have some previously scheduled time away. It's going to be lots of fun! I'll try and post some pictures later.
Sep 30, 2005
Am I a bad person?
I have to say I am really starting to wonder. It seems like a lot of things are falling apart in our lives right now and I can't help but start to think it's us. Nothings changed with the IL position. We are still moving forward with that. But everything here is just a mess. We almost got fired today. I say we figuratively, because Rob's the only church employee, but I am (by default) an unpaid employee. I just feel so broken and bitter. I am praying that God can heal my heart after we leave this place and I can find my joy again. I feel like we've been used and unappreciated. But from the phone call it seems they feel the same way and I can see it from both angles. It still hurts. This isn't who we are, this place. I cannot believe we've been here three years, almost half our marriage. I am hoping we can revert back to our former selves.
I've always struggled with low self-esteem, but now I am really struggling with worth after this. I've never felt so... I can't even find a word for it... defeated. Once, a long time ago, (Eli was four months) I nearly got fired from a jewelry store in Sioux City. I wound up resigning before my boss could utter the words. It was very difficult. I struggled with these same feelings. But this is harder because it's our church home too.
Well, I've probably said too much, but I feel weighted. Kim is coming over tonight so I'm sure we'll pick it apart then. Rob seems unworried, but he is confident in the IL job and being able to turn in his resignation shortly. I will rejoice on that day, and tenfold more the day we pack up the moving van and say goodbye forever. That's it, I am a bad person, but I will get better.
I have to say I am really starting to wonder. It seems like a lot of things are falling apart in our lives right now and I can't help but start to think it's us. Nothings changed with the IL position. We are still moving forward with that. But everything here is just a mess. We almost got fired today. I say we figuratively, because Rob's the only church employee, but I am (by default) an unpaid employee. I just feel so broken and bitter. I am praying that God can heal my heart after we leave this place and I can find my joy again. I feel like we've been used and unappreciated. But from the phone call it seems they feel the same way and I can see it from both angles. It still hurts. This isn't who we are, this place. I cannot believe we've been here three years, almost half our marriage. I am hoping we can revert back to our former selves.
I've always struggled with low self-esteem, but now I am really struggling with worth after this. I've never felt so... I can't even find a word for it... defeated. Once, a long time ago, (Eli was four months) I nearly got fired from a jewelry store in Sioux City. I wound up resigning before my boss could utter the words. It was very difficult. I struggled with these same feelings. But this is harder because it's our church home too.
Well, I've probably said too much, but I feel weighted. Kim is coming over tonight so I'm sure we'll pick it apart then. Rob seems unworried, but he is confident in the IL job and being able to turn in his resignation shortly. I will rejoice on that day, and tenfold more the day we pack up the moving van and say goodbye forever. That's it, I am a bad person, but I will get better.
I'm an idiot.
and you probably already figured that out. After that long post I looked at my previous one and realized I had hashed it all out several days ago. Sleep deprivation will do that to you, wipe your hard drive clean and you can't remember whether you are coming or going, scratching your watch and winding your butt. Just wanted to say I noticed it, so no nasty comments, kay?
and you probably already figured that out. After that long post I looked at my previous one and realized I had hashed it all out several days ago. Sleep deprivation will do that to you, wipe your hard drive clean and you can't remember whether you are coming or going, scratching your watch and winding your butt. Just wanted to say I noticed it, so no nasty comments, kay?
WOOHOO!! I'm so cool!
(yeah, right) but I can't help but feel cool right now, I finally figured out my profile picture, by myself, no help from computer nerd hubby. (I say that in love, and he knows it) I love to figure things out on my own, it's the problem solver in me, overcoming obstacles. Plus I'm stubborn (not proud - just stubborn) so it's hard for me to ask for help. Now the next step is figuring out how to add some music, but not this morning or I won't have time to write.
Everything here is moving forward in it's own strange way. We interviewed with a church in Louisville, KY last night on the phone. It sounds very nice, but I don't think we are ready for a church of that size. Plus the pastor majorly sounded like an over-achiever, which is great for him, but I think he would expect that from Rob too. He said that he started working yesterday at 7:30am and finished at 10:30pm. I couldn't help but feel sorry for his wife and kids. We talked about it when we got off the phone and I just think, sure you could spend every waking hour at church and with youth. But you have a family, young kids, and you can't get that time with them back. This is it. If we don't build right relationships with them now, then they won't come to us when they are older and have a choice where to find influence. Does that make sense?
I thought we would get off the phone and Rob would be all for it and ready to blow off the St. Louis position, but his reaction was polar opposite, which makes me know it's God. We just decided that we would be closer knit in this little town. He'd be in for lunch every day. He'd be just steps across the lawn in the office. We could attend local games as a family. Pastor sounds very flexible about time, understanding that a lot of youth ministry takes place at night. Honestly too, I'm really excited about being so close to my cousin and her family. My sister will only be about 2 1/2 hours away as well. I just think it's where we belong for this first position, and he does too. Provided their salary package is appropriate, we plan on accepting the job. (which is crazy to me.)
The reality of that is sinking in. We are excited. scared. overwhelmed. ready. I guess I haven't talked about this at all, but we would move quickly, before school is done. Fall break is two weekends away and that would be our goal, simply because we would have 4 days rather than 2. We'd get moved in and Rob would commute during the week, staying with friends and eating in the caf. I think it would be good for him, getting to have more of the college experience, connecting with his fellow students, and most importantly not having this place to take care of - concentrating on his studies. Speaking of studies, I'm very concerned that he's not spending enough time on them. He might just squeak through this last semester, which saddens me since he's worked so hard for so long. Anyway, I'd live in IL with the kids, he'd leave on Monday am and return Friday pm every week. The consolation is that it's only for eight more weeks and thanksgiving is one of those weeks, so is fall break. I'll be super busy remodeling and setting up house. It will be a project, but I think it's do-able.
So we are waiting for the fated phone call. We are both pretty confident that we will be offered the position, but not confident about the salary package, which pastor will present after the board meeting. I have a very good idea of a minimum need on our behalf, having crunched the numbers and even asking Lori to crunch them too. So we just pray that they are realistic about living expenses with two small kids. We will know more Monday, possibly even Sunday. Until then, we pray and seek God's will.
(yeah, right) but I can't help but feel cool right now, I finally figured out my profile picture, by myself, no help from computer nerd hubby. (I say that in love, and he knows it) I love to figure things out on my own, it's the problem solver in me, overcoming obstacles. Plus I'm stubborn (not proud - just stubborn) so it's hard for me to ask for help. Now the next step is figuring out how to add some music, but not this morning or I won't have time to write.
Everything here is moving forward in it's own strange way. We interviewed with a church in Louisville, KY last night on the phone. It sounds very nice, but I don't think we are ready for a church of that size. Plus the pastor majorly sounded like an over-achiever, which is great for him, but I think he would expect that from Rob too. He said that he started working yesterday at 7:30am and finished at 10:30pm. I couldn't help but feel sorry for his wife and kids. We talked about it when we got off the phone and I just think, sure you could spend every waking hour at church and with youth. But you have a family, young kids, and you can't get that time with them back. This is it. If we don't build right relationships with them now, then they won't come to us when they are older and have a choice where to find influence. Does that make sense?
I thought we would get off the phone and Rob would be all for it and ready to blow off the St. Louis position, but his reaction was polar opposite, which makes me know it's God. We just decided that we would be closer knit in this little town. He'd be in for lunch every day. He'd be just steps across the lawn in the office. We could attend local games as a family. Pastor sounds very flexible about time, understanding that a lot of youth ministry takes place at night. Honestly too, I'm really excited about being so close to my cousin and her family. My sister will only be about 2 1/2 hours away as well. I just think it's where we belong for this first position, and he does too. Provided their salary package is appropriate, we plan on accepting the job. (which is crazy to me.)
The reality of that is sinking in. We are excited. scared. overwhelmed. ready. I guess I haven't talked about this at all, but we would move quickly, before school is done. Fall break is two weekends away and that would be our goal, simply because we would have 4 days rather than 2. We'd get moved in and Rob would commute during the week, staying with friends and eating in the caf. I think it would be good for him, getting to have more of the college experience, connecting with his fellow students, and most importantly not having this place to take care of - concentrating on his studies. Speaking of studies, I'm very concerned that he's not spending enough time on them. He might just squeak through this last semester, which saddens me since he's worked so hard for so long. Anyway, I'd live in IL with the kids, he'd leave on Monday am and return Friday pm every week. The consolation is that it's only for eight more weeks and thanksgiving is one of those weeks, so is fall break. I'll be super busy remodeling and setting up house. It will be a project, but I think it's do-able.
So we are waiting for the fated phone call. We are both pretty confident that we will be offered the position, but not confident about the salary package, which pastor will present after the board meeting. I have a very good idea of a minimum need on our behalf, having crunched the numbers and even asking Lori to crunch them too. So we just pray that they are realistic about living expenses with two small kids. We will know more Monday, possibly even Sunday. Until then, we pray and seek God's will.
Sep 28, 2005
Good Morning!!
The sun is shining, the tank is clean.... THE TANK IS CLEAN!!! (for all you finding nemo fans out there!)
Ahh... deep cleansing breath. Despite my four hours of sleep last night I feel really REALLY good this morning. Rob had a super late class and chapel last night so I was up late scrapbooking and talking with my little sis on the phone (way to multi-task like a hall-of-famer wannabe) till he came in. Then we talked for two hours - which is funny because we talked about the St. Louis metro position. That is funny because I had proposed us not talking about it for a couple days and then getting together and re-hashing it - since we appear to be at odds about it. But he was sounding very pro taking the position in the wee hours this am. I'm not holding my breath yet though, he's been very back and forth since Saturday. We have some major things to think through first - an interview on Thursday pm with a church in KY, plus he wants to follow up on three seperate resumes he's already sent out. Then of course, there is the offer - wondering how generous it will be. We have a figure in mind that we need, but we'll see where they go on Sunday or Monday. If anybody is actually reading this, pray for us while we are seeking God's will. This is a delicate matter and a huge decision for us.
There are also little things to pull together, like that fact that we (near) desperately need a car. I think we can get together a hefty down payment, but I'm not sure we can get a loan after having a job with so little income for so long. It could take some time to dig out.
I do find it interesting that during this whole job search I have been praying that it would be fast and furious, that we would barely have time to struggle with "is this God's will?". When we sold our house in Sioux City and moved to Springfield it all happened within one month - crazy fast and purposeful. You just knew that God was in it. If this position happens we would move next month and I think it would be pretty sudden, but that is just exciting to me, not overwhelming. I say this in the midst of boxes, because I've been pre-packing for several months now, anticipating a December move.
If we take this job it will mean Rob and I would live in seperate states 5 days a week for 8 weeks. That is a surreal thought to me, I depend on him so much. Not just for help with the kiddos, but for sanity. I'm sure we would talk every night, since the church will hook him up with a cell phone. Plus Lori will call and that will keep me sane.
Some of the important perks are there, like I searched for a scrapbook store and there is one 2 miles from the house. I also searched for a MOPs group and found one (again) 2 miles away. There is a little room off the back of the kitchen that Rob and I agreed could be my scrapbook 'studio' which makes me soooo happy I could cry, I've always wanted a 'studio'. It's just fun to say "If you need me dear, I'll be in my studio." Ya know what I mean??? There are a lot more perks, but I don't want to go into them, since I haven't talked to Rob yet this morning, he may have changed his mind by now. :)
I'm just trusting for God's leading and that the wrong doors will close and the right one will open. We shall see.
On an aside, I'm going to see about adding some links to my blog, some fun new websites to check out, including the MOPs website, a couple other scrapper's blogs, and my best friend's blog. Also going to see about doing some more pictures of my cutie petootie kids. Enjoy!
The sun is shining, the tank is clean.... THE TANK IS CLEAN!!! (for all you finding nemo fans out there!)
Ahh... deep cleansing breath. Despite my four hours of sleep last night I feel really REALLY good this morning. Rob had a super late class and chapel last night so I was up late scrapbooking and talking with my little sis on the phone (way to multi-task like a hall-of-famer wannabe) till he came in. Then we talked for two hours - which is funny because we talked about the St. Louis metro position. That is funny because I had proposed us not talking about it for a couple days and then getting together and re-hashing it - since we appear to be at odds about it. But he was sounding very pro taking the position in the wee hours this am. I'm not holding my breath yet though, he's been very back and forth since Saturday. We have some major things to think through first - an interview on Thursday pm with a church in KY, plus he wants to follow up on three seperate resumes he's already sent out. Then of course, there is the offer - wondering how generous it will be. We have a figure in mind that we need, but we'll see where they go on Sunday or Monday. If anybody is actually reading this, pray for us while we are seeking God's will. This is a delicate matter and a huge decision for us.
There are also little things to pull together, like that fact that we (near) desperately need a car. I think we can get together a hefty down payment, but I'm not sure we can get a loan after having a job with so little income for so long. It could take some time to dig out.
I do find it interesting that during this whole job search I have been praying that it would be fast and furious, that we would barely have time to struggle with "is this God's will?". When we sold our house in Sioux City and moved to Springfield it all happened within one month - crazy fast and purposeful. You just knew that God was in it. If this position happens we would move next month and I think it would be pretty sudden, but that is just exciting to me, not overwhelming. I say this in the midst of boxes, because I've been pre-packing for several months now, anticipating a December move.
If we take this job it will mean Rob and I would live in seperate states 5 days a week for 8 weeks. That is a surreal thought to me, I depend on him so much. Not just for help with the kiddos, but for sanity. I'm sure we would talk every night, since the church will hook him up with a cell phone. Plus Lori will call and that will keep me sane.
Some of the important perks are there, like I searched for a scrapbook store and there is one 2 miles from the house. I also searched for a MOPs group and found one (again) 2 miles away. There is a little room off the back of the kitchen that Rob and I agreed could be my scrapbook 'studio' which makes me soooo happy I could cry, I've always wanted a 'studio'. It's just fun to say "If you need me dear, I'll be in my studio." Ya know what I mean??? There are a lot more perks, but I don't want to go into them, since I haven't talked to Rob yet this morning, he may have changed his mind by now. :)
I'm just trusting for God's leading and that the wrong doors will close and the right one will open. We shall see.
On an aside, I'm going to see about adding some links to my blog, some fun new websites to check out, including the MOPs website, a couple other scrapper's blogs, and my best friend's blog. Also going to see about doing some more pictures of my cutie petootie kids. Enjoy!
Sep 27, 2005
Spinning in place again.
Funny how my life seems so slow and fast at the same time. Crazy and placent in the same breath. We are job hunting. We found something, but not sure if it's the place for us. Somehow I thought it would be more black and white than this, but it's my life so that's not likely and I should have known better.
I think I'm really interested in this place - a small town in IL really close to St. Louis. I can't tell if I'm interested because I want it to be decided already, or because it seems like the right thing to do, or if I just don't want to disappoint these wonderful people. I'm just anxious to get started with the rest of our life.
I'll post more later. Kiddo's are sleeping, Rob's at class for another couple hours and my scrapbook stuff is calling my name. I'm really going to try for HOF this year, so I need to get cracking.
Funny how my life seems so slow and fast at the same time. Crazy and placent in the same breath. We are job hunting. We found something, but not sure if it's the place for us. Somehow I thought it would be more black and white than this, but it's my life so that's not likely and I should have known better.
I think I'm really interested in this place - a small town in IL really close to St. Louis. I can't tell if I'm interested because I want it to be decided already, or because it seems like the right thing to do, or if I just don't want to disappoint these wonderful people. I'm just anxious to get started with the rest of our life.
I'll post more later. Kiddo's are sleeping, Rob's at class for another couple hours and my scrapbook stuff is calling my name. I'm really going to try for HOF this year, so I need to get cracking.
Sep 20, 2005
Remember how last time I posted I said Sarah's ear infection wasn't that bad? Well, I lied. How is it you put a child on antibiotics and she gets worse??? Now she's pulling at the other ear and still not sleeping. (last night was #5 on little or no sleep). I called the dr this morning and while I was waiting for the return call she came down with drastic diarhea, I think she just doesn't do well with antibiotics. Anyway, I want to know if there is a support program for moms like me?? Stressed out to the max. I can't get anywhere, so it's just un-ending. I am so thankful for my small group though, we met last night and it just refreshes me. I'm glad too, cause I was in for such a rough night afterwards.
We are rapidly coming up on our interview this weekend, still no word from the St. Charles church, but we are praying. I'm starting to be concerned that Sarah won't be well enough to make the trip. Do I send Rob alone then?? I'm just praying she'll get better at this point, it's been a week already. We'll go in this afternoon and see what the pediatrician knows.
I stopped in to a scrapbook store last night on my way to small group. I kind of felt bad spending anything on myself at this point, but I was looking for some chipboards label holders, which they had (and I love). It was fun though, I hadn't been in this particular store in about four months and they had so much new stuff, a lot of the hip product touted on 2peas that is never in stock. Plus I always like to buy in real life better then online, it must be the thrill of the hunt for me, I'm not sure. I was really well behaved, bought my chipboard and then some really fun new paper; MOD, Gin-X, some fun new K&Co. It was exciting. I did a fun page last night, and worked on another this morning. It is so my sanity! I felt guilty scrapping when the kitchen floor is sticky, but I really didn't have energy to scrub the floor and scrapping makes me feel better.
Well, I should probably get going. I thought I could blog real quickly while I finished my lunch. Just covering this afternoon with prayer that we can get this thing with Sarah solved.
We are rapidly coming up on our interview this weekend, still no word from the St. Charles church, but we are praying. I'm starting to be concerned that Sarah won't be well enough to make the trip. Do I send Rob alone then?? I'm just praying she'll get better at this point, it's been a week already. We'll go in this afternoon and see what the pediatrician knows.
I stopped in to a scrapbook store last night on my way to small group. I kind of felt bad spending anything on myself at this point, but I was looking for some chipboards label holders, which they had (and I love). It was fun though, I hadn't been in this particular store in about four months and they had so much new stuff, a lot of the hip product touted on 2peas that is never in stock. Plus I always like to buy in real life better then online, it must be the thrill of the hunt for me, I'm not sure. I was really well behaved, bought my chipboard and then some really fun new paper; MOD, Gin-X, some fun new K&Co. It was exciting. I did a fun page last night, and worked on another this morning. It is so my sanity! I felt guilty scrapping when the kitchen floor is sticky, but I really didn't have energy to scrub the floor and scrapping makes me feel better.
Well, I should probably get going. I thought I could blog real quickly while I finished my lunch. Just covering this afternoon with prayer that we can get this thing with Sarah solved.
Sep 16, 2005
Either life has slowed down or the G-forces just aren't having the same effect. I just have to take a deep breath from the past few weeks. It seems like we've been running from crisis to crisis. I'm not really sure it's let up, but perhaps I'm just used to the momentum by now.
Not really sure where to start, not sure where we left off. Right now Brea (my 1 year old daughter) has an ear infection. But you can tell we've had lots of much worse health issues to deal with because I'm being so casual about it, diagnosed her myself before we even got to the pediatrician's office. She was tugging at her ear and she just hasn't been sleeping, which of course, makes me crazy cause I can't scrapbook (ie; breath!) the past few days. I have all these ideas (mostly from those crazy effers) be-bopping around in my head and they are dying to get out onto paper and pictures but I digress. Anyhoo, dear daughter is miserable, hence wreaking havoc on our otherwise havoc-filled home. She literally hasn't slept in two days, with the exception of 7 hours last night. Have to say I'm almost sick of looking at her. :) She's sweet though, even when she's sickie. And I'm so thankful that it's not something more serious, since her iv has only been out about 10 days.
Eli, my four year old son, is doing well. He loves school, but it still kills me to send him away 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. I'm just scared of what he might learn, but I know it's good for him. I can't protect him from everything forever, I may as well learn that lesson now. Every day we pray with him and remind him to "make good choices" and secretly I hope that echoes in his little ears all day long. He is randomly breaking out in a rash, has been for months now and it's definately got Rob and I freaked out, since the pediatrician is clueless as to what might be causing the mystery rash.
Rob and I are awesome. I know I say that often, but I really mean it. I was telling my bf the other day how if I could choose between any other guy in a 'better' situation or Rob in this same exact situation, I would choose Rob every time. He's my penguin. (they mate for life) I cannot believe how in tune with each other we are at this fateful 7th year. I've heard so many things about year number seven, how it's the worst, the hardest, the one where you just want to walk away. We've had several rough years as a family, crummy circumstances, senseless tragedies, etc, but things with us are top notch. I remember year #2 being really tough, we had some stuff to work out, but since then it just keeps getting better.
The job search continues. It's tiring, getting excited over each possibility and then hearing a door shut or just being left hanging. It makes me pray harder, relying on the fact that God has a precise plan for our lives, and He is in control.
Well, it's time to get those kidddos to bed, pert near anyway. Hopefully I'll get to play tonight, I'm so in the mood. Oh, that's the other thing, the new rules for HOF are up and I think I'm going to submit. Why not? I've been rejected before, I have thick skin. (that's a lie and I know it) But seriously, I didn't submit last year and I seriously regretted it, so at least if I do this year I will have some great layouts to show for it.
Ok, and this is random, but I just got a phone call with a water survey, and she knew my name (which is strange) but I laughed because she called me Mrs. Thoreson and my gut reaction was "that's not me, that's my mother-in-law". Ha! After 2 kids and nearly 8 years! Oh well.
Not really sure where to start, not sure where we left off. Right now Brea (my 1 year old daughter) has an ear infection. But you can tell we've had lots of much worse health issues to deal with because I'm being so casual about it, diagnosed her myself before we even got to the pediatrician's office. She was tugging at her ear and she just hasn't been sleeping, which of course, makes me crazy cause I can't scrapbook (ie; breath!) the past few days. I have all these ideas (mostly from those crazy effers) be-bopping around in my head and they are dying to get out onto paper and pictures but I digress. Anyhoo, dear daughter is miserable, hence wreaking havoc on our otherwise havoc-filled home. She literally hasn't slept in two days, with the exception of 7 hours last night. Have to say I'm almost sick of looking at her. :) She's sweet though, even when she's sickie. And I'm so thankful that it's not something more serious, since her iv has only been out about 10 days.
Eli, my four year old son, is doing well. He loves school, but it still kills me to send him away 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. I'm just scared of what he might learn, but I know it's good for him. I can't protect him from everything forever, I may as well learn that lesson now. Every day we pray with him and remind him to "make good choices" and secretly I hope that echoes in his little ears all day long. He is randomly breaking out in a rash, has been for months now and it's definately got Rob and I freaked out, since the pediatrician is clueless as to what might be causing the mystery rash.
Rob and I are awesome. I know I say that often, but I really mean it. I was telling my bf the other day how if I could choose between any other guy in a 'better' situation or Rob in this same exact situation, I would choose Rob every time. He's my penguin. (they mate for life) I cannot believe how in tune with each other we are at this fateful 7th year. I've heard so many things about year number seven, how it's the worst, the hardest, the one where you just want to walk away. We've had several rough years as a family, crummy circumstances, senseless tragedies, etc, but things with us are top notch. I remember year #2 being really tough, we had some stuff to work out, but since then it just keeps getting better.
The job search continues. It's tiring, getting excited over each possibility and then hearing a door shut or just being left hanging. It makes me pray harder, relying on the fact that God has a precise plan for our lives, and He is in control.
Well, it's time to get those kidddos to bed, pert near anyway. Hopefully I'll get to play tonight, I'm so in the mood. Oh, that's the other thing, the new rules for HOF are up and I think I'm going to submit. Why not? I've been rejected before, I have thick skin. (that's a lie and I know it) But seriously, I didn't submit last year and I seriously regretted it, so at least if I do this year I will have some great layouts to show for it.
Ok, and this is random, but I just got a phone call with a water survey, and she knew my name (which is strange) but I laughed because she called me Mrs. Thoreson and my gut reaction was "that's not me, that's my mother-in-law". Ha! After 2 kids and nearly 8 years! Oh well.
Sep 6, 2005
"I'm feeling better!"
(spoken in a thick english accent for all you Monty Python fans out there) :) It's been a long time since I've watched the holy grail, but some things are just naturally engraved in your brain...
Seriously, though. It's amazing how a little perpective can change your situation dramatically. In the physical aspect, nothing has changed in our household. But the mentality is suddenly different. I feel a keen sense of hope sliding in, enveloping our family and our frame of mind. Just a few interviews and a lot of talk, Rob and I are re-focusing and ready to tackle this last semester with fervor. We've been interviewing with several churches, it's going really well and I'm gaining confidence about our employability when he's through. The next couple months are going to be really busy and that's just the way I like it.
On the 24th of September we will be heading to the St. Louis metro area for an interview and we are hopefully going to squeeze a second one into that trip. Then in October I'll be headed to IL with my good friend Kim to see my little sister for a couple days. In November we are going to try and do family Thanksgiving here at the camp, we'll see if everyone can make it or not. Then it's December before you know it and we will be getting all set to move! Woohoo! I think that having one big thing each month will maintain momentum, and that will keep me going. Plus there will be little things interspersed in there, like small group outings and visits with Lori and Jay.
The most exciting thing happened yesterday. My sister booked our flight to Paris! I'm just in awe that she would do this for me, it's crazy. But she's dead-set on it and we are going in March, which is only 7 months away and I can't wait. I need to reserve some books at the library for Rob to pick up so I can do some research on where we will go. We are also going to spend one day in Manchester, England, so I can technically call it my "Europe" trip. Oh, the pictures I will take!!!
Speaking of pictures, I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my replacement camera, I can't wait to use it. The kids have grown so much in the almost month it's been gone. I'll finally be able to update my layouts on Two Peas, I'm not even sure how much I've done this past month, but it's alot. I scrapped 2 layouts yesterday and finished up a two page spread this morning. I've been on such a roll lately, it's fun. Wish I could do it for a living, but it's just not working out. I guess that's God's way of saying that I should focus on the kids for now.
We missed our first MOPs meeting of the year this morning, made me sad cause I love MOPs and this will be my last semester with this group. But Eli's been complaining of a sore throat and not feeling well, plus with Brea recovering from being so dehydrated, I figured it was for the best. That's a hard part of being the mom, knowing when to say no. There are a lot of hard parts about being a mom, but it's worth it!
So nothing incredibly deep today. It's Tuesday, my hard day, but we are going to do just fine, I can tell already. I really love these kids. That makes it a lot easier. :)
(spoken in a thick english accent for all you Monty Python fans out there) :) It's been a long time since I've watched the holy grail, but some things are just naturally engraved in your brain...
Seriously, though. It's amazing how a little perpective can change your situation dramatically. In the physical aspect, nothing has changed in our household. But the mentality is suddenly different. I feel a keen sense of hope sliding in, enveloping our family and our frame of mind. Just a few interviews and a lot of talk, Rob and I are re-focusing and ready to tackle this last semester with fervor. We've been interviewing with several churches, it's going really well and I'm gaining confidence about our employability when he's through. The next couple months are going to be really busy and that's just the way I like it.
On the 24th of September we will be heading to the St. Louis metro area for an interview and we are hopefully going to squeeze a second one into that trip. Then in October I'll be headed to IL with my good friend Kim to see my little sister for a couple days. In November we are going to try and do family Thanksgiving here at the camp, we'll see if everyone can make it or not. Then it's December before you know it and we will be getting all set to move! Woohoo! I think that having one big thing each month will maintain momentum, and that will keep me going. Plus there will be little things interspersed in there, like small group outings and visits with Lori and Jay.
The most exciting thing happened yesterday. My sister booked our flight to Paris! I'm just in awe that she would do this for me, it's crazy. But she's dead-set on it and we are going in March, which is only 7 months away and I can't wait. I need to reserve some books at the library for Rob to pick up so I can do some research on where we will go. We are also going to spend one day in Manchester, England, so I can technically call it my "Europe" trip. Oh, the pictures I will take!!!
Speaking of pictures, I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my replacement camera, I can't wait to use it. The kids have grown so much in the almost month it's been gone. I'll finally be able to update my layouts on Two Peas, I'm not even sure how much I've done this past month, but it's alot. I scrapped 2 layouts yesterday and finished up a two page spread this morning. I've been on such a roll lately, it's fun. Wish I could do it for a living, but it's just not working out. I guess that's God's way of saying that I should focus on the kids for now.
We missed our first MOPs meeting of the year this morning, made me sad cause I love MOPs and this will be my last semester with this group. But Eli's been complaining of a sore throat and not feeling well, plus with Brea recovering from being so dehydrated, I figured it was for the best. That's a hard part of being the mom, knowing when to say no. There are a lot of hard parts about being a mom, but it's worth it!
So nothing incredibly deep today. It's Tuesday, my hard day, but we are going to do just fine, I can tell already. I really love these kids. That makes it a lot easier. :)
Sep 4, 2005
I'm sure my insanity has been confirmed by this point. I keep wondering why I am doing this, the blogging thing, but it's cheaper than therapy and I think it's helping. It's a lot easier to examine yourself when it's all typed out, right there on the screen. Easier to see your blatant faults and obvious short comings. I have always wanted to see myself as others see me, only because other people's flaws are so easy to see, but your own are hidden deep within your personality, lurking in the shadows, tripping you up without your knowing it.
I think I'm aware of my big flaws. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, which would be my first major issue ... overthinking. I spend so much time worrying, re-hashing, post-processing nearly every detail of every day. It's exhausting.
I also struggle with caring what other people think too much, in inhibits my ability to make wise choices, because I'm so afraid of what others will say or think or do. I just want everyone to like me, such a people pleaser that it actually irritates some people!!
But I wonder what others can see about me that I can't. I suppose knowing that information would destroy me, since I probably would be incapable of changing it anyway. I still think I want to know, but it's the proverbial Pandora's box, and there would be no unknowing in the aftermath.
Kind of deep today, sorry. It's just such a weird time in my life. I've joked that Springfield has been our 'waiting room' and it's as though they've lost our chart and forgotten to call our name!! But really? It is. And typical Anna fashion, I just sit here thinking about what I could be getting done, or trying to be all productive and working on my to-do list right here in line...
We have the all-church picnic this afternoon here at Sonrise. I've been anxious about it for weeks now, and I'll be thankful just to get it over with. Turns out I won't be out there much anyway, Brea's been so sick, she can't handle all the excitement and doesn't need the people contact. I guess I hadn't posted it, but she had an iv in for several days because she was just that sick, dehydrated again. It seems like she just stops eating and drinking when she doesn't feel good. It's pretty scary. I thought they were going to admit her there for a while, but we pushed fluids and the iv drip instead and she pulled out of it. She still seems pretty sick, but on the road to recovery. It was an intense three days.
Also, to follow up on my post from the other day. Our financial situation is pretty dire, but Rob and I worked up a plan to make things work until his student loans/grants come in. I think we'll make it. We also had an interview with St. Charles River Church last night and we both felt confidant, so we'll see where that goes.
I think I'm aware of my big flaws. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, which would be my first major issue ... overthinking. I spend so much time worrying, re-hashing, post-processing nearly every detail of every day. It's exhausting.
I also struggle with caring what other people think too much, in inhibits my ability to make wise choices, because I'm so afraid of what others will say or think or do. I just want everyone to like me, such a people pleaser that it actually irritates some people!!
But I wonder what others can see about me that I can't. I suppose knowing that information would destroy me, since I probably would be incapable of changing it anyway. I still think I want to know, but it's the proverbial Pandora's box, and there would be no unknowing in the aftermath.
Kind of deep today, sorry. It's just such a weird time in my life. I've joked that Springfield has been our 'waiting room' and it's as though they've lost our chart and forgotten to call our name!! But really? It is. And typical Anna fashion, I just sit here thinking about what I could be getting done, or trying to be all productive and working on my to-do list right here in line...
We have the all-church picnic this afternoon here at Sonrise. I've been anxious about it for weeks now, and I'll be thankful just to get it over with. Turns out I won't be out there much anyway, Brea's been so sick, she can't handle all the excitement and doesn't need the people contact. I guess I hadn't posted it, but she had an iv in for several days because she was just that sick, dehydrated again. It seems like she just stops eating and drinking when she doesn't feel good. It's pretty scary. I thought they were going to admit her there for a while, but we pushed fluids and the iv drip instead and she pulled out of it. She still seems pretty sick, but on the road to recovery. It was an intense three days.
Also, to follow up on my post from the other day. Our financial situation is pretty dire, but Rob and I worked up a plan to make things work until his student loans/grants come in. I think we'll make it. We also had an interview with St. Charles River Church last night and we both felt confidant, so we'll see where that goes.
Sep 1, 2005
I'm such a jerk! All I've been doing lately is whining. This hurricane business has got me majorly stressing. Rob and I were up to the wee hours of the morning last night talking. He said he got in the shower last night and started crying because he was so thankful to be able to take a hot shower. We have so much compared to the people on the gulf coast right now. holy cow. I feel blessed.
With that said, I'm working out a new budget for our family, tweaked to compensate for the cost of gas. I'm not sure how we are going to do it. My major concern is getting Rob back and forth to school. With gas sitting at the $3 a gallon it is right now, I figured we will spend between $48-$60 a week or $192-$240 a month, depending on how accurate I am on the mileage/usage. It's only 8 trips to Springfield a week and doesn't include trips to Walmart, Price Cutter or the doctor's office in Nixa. Now that I'm thinking about it the $240 a month is probably very realistic. Which is frightening, since that is half our take-home income for the month!! That is no unnecessary trips, bare bones what we have to do. I'm just not sure how we are going to do this, but I think about last year and we were driving the ford Ltd and that got 15 miles to the gallon, so the price of gas has virtually stayed the same for us, we are filling up less often but paying the same or close... just in much bigger chunks. (to the tune of $45 to fill up) But we barely made it last year, and it's not looking good this year. One more semester...
So, I'm looking into some options for us, trying to develop a plan. My first and most obvious solution is to ask for a raise. Surely they have to consider this dramatic cost of living increase. Otherwise I'm looking into low income housing on the north side of Springfield, somewhere that Rob could walk or bicycle to school. Otherwise we could ask parents for help, something I loathe doing. But really? If it's that or drop out of school because of gas cost? I can suck it up and beg... I'm just praying for wisdom at this point, and peace. Trying not to panic.
With that said, I'm working out a new budget for our family, tweaked to compensate for the cost of gas. I'm not sure how we are going to do it. My major concern is getting Rob back and forth to school. With gas sitting at the $3 a gallon it is right now, I figured we will spend between $48-$60 a week or $192-$240 a month, depending on how accurate I am on the mileage/usage. It's only 8 trips to Springfield a week and doesn't include trips to Walmart, Price Cutter or the doctor's office in Nixa. Now that I'm thinking about it the $240 a month is probably very realistic. Which is frightening, since that is half our take-home income for the month!! That is no unnecessary trips, bare bones what we have to do. I'm just not sure how we are going to do this, but I think about last year and we were driving the ford Ltd and that got 15 miles to the gallon, so the price of gas has virtually stayed the same for us, we are filling up less often but paying the same or close... just in much bigger chunks. (to the tune of $45 to fill up) But we barely made it last year, and it's not looking good this year. One more semester...
So, I'm looking into some options for us, trying to develop a plan. My first and most obvious solution is to ask for a raise. Surely they have to consider this dramatic cost of living increase. Otherwise I'm looking into low income housing on the north side of Springfield, somewhere that Rob could walk or bicycle to school. Otherwise we could ask parents for help, something I loathe doing. But really? If it's that or drop out of school because of gas cost? I can suck it up and beg... I'm just praying for wisdom at this point, and peace. Trying not to panic.
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