Anna-thology

is there life past survival?

It's so crazy to me how some days you are just on 'survive' mode and no matter how hard you kick - all day long - you can't move past 'survive' into 'enjoy' or at least 'tolerate'! My kids have been crazy again. Sarah is just strange lately, too much house for a whirlwind of toddlerhood. I NEED to childproof (at least my kitchen!) but it's just been way down on the list. Suddenly I'm realizing if I had put it higher on the list to begin with, the list may not be so long now!! Make sense? She's just crazy cupboard girl, dragging out everything from lotion to fine china and pots and pans and cutting boards. And I wouldn't mind the washable stuff, but more dishes is not what I need at this conjuncture in my life! (sigh)

We have church tonight, but still a great debate about what time it starts. We've been here for 3 weeks now and still can't figure things like that out - it's just been very sporatic because of the holidays.

After dinner tonight Rob and I sat down and really worked on a budget for our new life. I'm just proud of us for looking all responsible on paper. Now, if we can just make it work in the checkbook! I'm really praying about financial responsibility in our life. This has always been a particularily grey area for me and I feel God tugging at my heart to work it out. We both really want to start saving, and I'm willing to give up other things to make that a reality. I think Rob is too.

That all said, I think his Gateway finally bit the dust this afternoon. I feel bad for him, he's been using it more in these past three weeks then ever before. He doesn't even have a desktop in his office, so that's a major issue. He had to come home and use our desktop today. I'm really praying about this, I don't want to have to buy him a desktop out of our tax return, but if the church isn't going to do it we will. He really needs it. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's tax deductible. It's more than just email, it's all of his records, his sermons, his contacts. I'm just praying that something will work out.

I got our family health insurance situation worked out today. Whew. That is a huge relief off of my mind. We have a final call to finish things up in the morning and then that will be a done deal. I'm excited because of the way the church is paying for it, it will really help re-establish our credit, without any doing from us. It just amazes me how God works things out. I can look back and see His hand on our life every step of the way. (a little 'footprints' for me, but it's true) I'm also relieved because we won't even need to pick up state aid for the kids. It's so great to be on our own two feet, finally. (with the exception of our food stamps, but they run out in May)

I'm really getting anxious to return to work. I guess it's been building up in me. The insurance broker asked today if I worked at all, if anyone paid me to do anything. Unfortunately not. I work harder now then ever, but get paid nill. I'd really like to do some magazine submissions in this coming year. I need to get working on sending that stuff in! I'd like to generate a tiny bit of income. Our tax guy back in Siuox City really stressed how it's important to pay into Social Security when you are really young, that it matters more now then ever. Since then I haven't held a job for any length of time. Sad, really.

Hoping to scrap tonight. I worked hard all day, on phone calls and paperwork. Hoping for some 'me' time after these kiddos go to bed.